this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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If that's a UXO, I'm actually a little surprised it would be the police on the scene, rather than the army.
There's 1,000 jokes that can be made in sure, but in the US I once found a grenade while magnet fishing and called a guy my parents know who is a cop. The moment I realized what it was, I told my friend to run to the end of the bridge, and I gently laid it on the pile of rope I was using.
They have a whole bomb squad that's about 30 minutes away at full speed, and they rolled up with their trailer, a guy in a suit came over to the bridge and placed it in a box, put the box in the trailer, and one dull THUNK later all I had to do was sign a paper saying this is where I found it.
I specifically called my parents friend rather than 911 because I had read too many accounts of cops showing up and attempting to arrest the magnet fisher for any number of reasons.
UXO is no fucking joke, don't for a second think you can handle it without training. You really have no idea what explosive compound they used or what it's stability level is after being exposed to the elements.
Why wouldn't you have just loaded it into the transporter buffer and then wiped the pattern (or beamed it harmlessly into space), Mr O'Brien?
Unfortunately due to some temporal shenanigans, I'm stuck here without so much as a self-sealing stem bolt.
No transporter system.
Besides, why would I want to wipe my pattern buffer ~~prisoners~~ ~~guests~~ experiments?
A real engineer would've been able to make a mnemonic circuit using stone knives and bear skins.
Look, if you want to wrangle with a bear to try and get that pelt, you go right ahead.
I've had enough suffering in my lifetimes, I'm hunkering down and waiting for the department of temporal investigations to show up and take me home.
Besides, you need at least 3μg of pergium, which I'm sure I don't have to remind anyone is not native to the solar system.
A quick break in on area 51 should do that for you. Bring the bear... for .... reasons.
You actually only need 0.75 μg of pergium, but it's nice to know who's work you're copying.