this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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My ex/close friend necked himself. Didn't die cause his wife found him in time and being a med school dropout has advantages.
Been reevaluating a lot of shit since then. I think I'm going back to grad school, I realised if I lost him (and you don't go from trying to kill yourself to life being peachy. It's still very day by day) I would have basically no regular contact with people smarter than me which is just depressing.
Who knows if I'll succeed this time, life is in a better place but my body is a complete unreliable wreck. Still we shall see.
In other news evaluating the risk of moving my ulnar nerves surgically. Very small risk of paralysis, large (~10% risk) of needing salvage surgeries. Scary stuff, expensive too. OTOH being able to hold a book again would be cool.
Sending you good vibes in this stressful time ✨
I'll be right, they are the ones that have to go through the hard shit. People you love nearly dying does tend to make a lot of stuff just seem not important though.
Also a massive stressor preceding this was the tech ai layoffs to eviction pipeline so I've ended up even more angry at landlords and other capitalists. Like this shit is playing out everywhere so some dickhead can get more spare homes. I don't even know if the rich are human in a recognisable way.