I (24F) met a guy (37M) at a party half a year ago. He’s Japanese and I am an Indian living in Japan. We talked and exchanged socials but that was about it. After that we met in several other occasions, organized by mutual friends and a lot of times he invited me to various events too. I never really thought much about it because the age gap between us is insanely high.
A week ago he asked me if I am free and would like to go to a cafe with him. He didn’t say it was a date but i kinda think it was. This was our first opportunity to actually get to know more about each other’s personal life. I asked him about his job, he told me that he handles his parent’s real estate company and is quite rich. But he feels like his job is not very rewarding so he wants to go to abroad. I asked him if he is planning to get married so he said he feels it is still to early for him to get married. Then he asked me why i am not dating anybody yet. I told him i was too busy to date anyone but now that i have found a job, I will move to a new city and look for a suitable partner there. I am also planning to have a lot of children so I don’t want to delay it a lot. He said he also wants to have many children, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with his age being much higher than mine. Anyways, i think i made it pretty clear that i am only planning to look for a boyfriend in the city i am moving to, while he said he’s planning to stay closer to his family in this city and go abroad temporarily.
He still paid for everything that we ate and asked me out on a date again.
My question is, if he knows that I am leaving this city in two months and not planning to date anyone here, then is it safe to assume he asked me out again because he wants to sleep with me? I do not want to sleep with him, i am definitely physically attracted to him because he’s very handsome but i am a virgin and i want my first time to be with a long term partner atleast.
Is there any comfortable way to bring up this topic without making me sound like a narcissist who assumed a guy wants to sleep with her just because he asked her out🥲.
Please help me out
13 years is a significant age gap for someone in their mid twenties.
I am certain he wants to have sex with you, wether or not he is thinking about a long term relationship, I have no insights.
It could be that he is not thinking about that. You are pretty vague on when you are relocating, so maybe he thinks that if the two of you work out, than you will stay.
there seems to be alot of these posts on reddit too, the age gaps are significant, like 10-17years+, and always ends up being in an abusive situation.
Yeah.
When you are 30+ a 10+ age gap is not as significant.
i knew a former co-worker in another job, who was 17year old her senior, granted she was 28-29 at the time. and of course the mom was pissed, because the woman told me the mom said the guy was ALMOST as old as she was.(the mom had her kids very young). i dint push anything, but he doesnt seem like he was controlling to her.