this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2025
316 points (95.7% liked)
196
4355 readers
1769 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 7 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
To play devils advocate: Do you think we should invalidate people's feelings of hate toward trans folk?
Regardless, your first two points seems to conflict. The social construct of gender is based on stereotypes. How can there be any notion of a particular gender unless there are characteristics attributed to it? And any generalization based on such assumptions is sexist by definition.
I agree that some people just feel they are what they are and that's totally cool. Power to ya! But it is interesting to see the echos of conservatism hiding in these 'progressive' ideals, whether people want to admit it or not.
Fallacies upon fallacies.
The right to self-actualization is not equivalent to hatred nor an enforced social order of arbitrary and repressive rules. You don't get to pull the "it's just feelings" card to defend bigotry.
Gender characteristics are not the same thing as stereotypes and either way none of that is inherently sexist. Characteristics just are. The weighted sum of gender characteristics is how we perceive gender outwardly – which is not necessarily correlated to internal perception of gender. Sexism only happens because some people use that outwards perception of gender to make ill judgment and enforce unfair rules. That's on them, not the person being perceived.
Well I agree that feelings of bigotry don't get protection just because they're feeling. But it's an interesting point, no? What you ir I might feel is right or wrong is different than what other people might feel is right or wrong. Even if there was some sort of definitive right and wrong, people's feelings are what they feel. Thinking your feelings should be protected, but other's shouldn't seems a little hypocritical.
But I digress, what I'm really interested in is what things you think are gender characteristics (that aren't stereotypes, and aren't used to make judgments or enforce unfair rules).
Don't make the mistake of starting from the "enlightened centrist" hypothesis that everyone's a little bit right and working backwards to a justification why an absolute moral position is supposedly hypocritical.
This isn't about my feelings, this is about a right to self-actualization.
And you clearly didn't understand my point if you are getting hung up on this idea of gender stereotypes. I could be 150 cm with humongous pendulous tits, hair down to my BBL, a miniskirt and a crop-top with my nipples poking through, 30 cm stillettos, Marilyn Monroe's face, enough makeup to smother a small child, and the brattiest attitude you've ever seen in your life. That still would not give anyone the right to be sexist. You're the one bringing sexism into this like it's somehow inextricable from the experience of gender.
Well that's quite a mental Image! And I'm not challenging anyone's right to self actualize - I certainly encourage it.
But it's not that I'm hung up on gender stereotypes it's just that I don't see how there is any gender 'experience' without being based on sexually stereotypes. Please just explain any such gender experience or characteristic.