*I stitched on the Jurassic park
Lil bebe comin in to this world with a grip of bra’dfathers
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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I cannot stress enough how traumatic this would be for everyone involved
wdym, the baby wouldn't even notice /j
Birth is pretty traumatic for babies to begin with.
You start off on this dark, warm room. Floating in a little bubble of fluid. All you've ever known.
Then all of a sudden the bubble is gone. It's slowly draining. Either it popped on its own, or worse, somebody poked it with a crochet hook (I know the real medical tool isn't a crochet hook but that's legit what it looks like).
You're squeezing headfirst through a hole smaller in size than a CD. And as soon as they see your smushy little skull they are putting a sticker on it to watch your heart rate.
It's bright, it's cold, it's dry, and it's loud. The complete polar opposite of everything you've ever known. You have to start breathing and then you can't stop or you die, but nobody tells you that right away. Someone slaps your butt and someone else cuts your blood tube to mom.
No wonder they come out screaming.
And that's a typical, uncomplicated birth. Let's not talk about suction cups or forceps or cesareans.
My daughter came out grey & floppy. It was (probably) only about a minute before she started crying, but man it felt like an eternity.