Asklemmy

I earnestly believed that quicksand was going to be a far more prevalent danger in my life than it has.

The world was in black and white shortly before I was born.

Step dad convinced me that those chocolate oranges were natural from a chocolate orange tree..

That night was caused by really thick clouds. I think I saw light through dark black clouds during twilight and assumed night was caused by black clouds covering the sky. I went to test this theory by flying out of London at night but I fell asleep before we took off.

I thought answering machines were something just made up by TV shows because we never had an answering machine.

Because of Barbie dolls, I used to believe that girls didn't have nipples

My mom told us that microwaves are bad for our health due to radiation. I did not want a microwave in my own apartment until I was 20 and my GF just got one.

I started learning BASIC when I was 7 and used to think that the POKE command was a magical incantation that could do anything. Like you could make an entire game with a single POKE. You just had to find the right one.

Other than organized religion, you mean?

Probably that cops are benevolent keepers of the peace and that putting humans in cages decreases crime.

Parents told me if I could get salt on a birds tail I'd be able to catch it.

Pretty sure they told me that shit to at least increase the challenge of actually catching birds so I didn't try to bring one in.

When I was little, I used to think that before I was born (1977), people and the world in general were in black and white. All the photos I had of my family before my birth were in black and white.

That if I went to Planet Hollywood for dinner I would definitely meet Arnold Schwarzenegger.

That my parents were people I could trust.

If I had to pee really bad I would eat bread or crackers because it would absorb the pee and not make me have to go.

When I was little people said dogs would sniff you to figure out who you are. I thought when a dog smells you they know your name, address, ...

And maybe they do?

My mother used to tell me that the jehovas witnesses had like a blacklist of households that they are forbiden from knocking on their doors since their inhabitants are unsalvable (and are going to hell according to the list but mom didnt say that) and that the peerequisits of being added to the list was not opening the door when they came to pester our house hold.

We laughed a lot about this until one day i bring it up back again and shes like "what are you talking about m8?, Theres no such thing, i made that up, i cant believe you belived that was a thing." And then she started laughing at me and made fun of that the whole day but like in a good way.

I thought the world used to be black and white and turned to color sometimes in the early 60's. Ironically that's about the same time color TV came into prominence.

I thought vampires were real so I never slept with my back to the door for years thinking they'd bite me in my neck whilwt I slept.

That eggs are made in factories. I still haven't made peace with this, and lurk around egg equivalents (I'm not vegan).

Also when I was in kindergarden, I had terrible idea about how the map of our village looks like.

That the WWF was real

Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, god, etc

I noticed there was always a gust of wind after cars passed, so I concluded wind was caused by invisible cars driving by. Storms were caused by the invisible drivers driving too fast.

I used to go outside during storms and yell at them to slow down. I was convinced it was working.

I used to think Parkinson's disease was named after TV chat show host Michael Parkinson.

I learned how planes work before cars, so since faster cars always had more exhaust pipes than slower cars I presumed the concept of thrust was similar to a jet engine and had no idea that the wheels themselves were powered until I mentioned it when I was like 6-7.