Ask Lemmy

mildly, nothing extreme

I just hope I'm on the receiving end.

Oh, no…

Uhhhh.

Drive errors would pile up on critical systems because they didn't filesystem check themselves before they filesystem wrecked themselves

SUPPLIES!

Or being thrown out of a second story window during karate lessons.

You wouldn't understand

I dont't know lulz

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

No one can tell... (Well maybe)... But I should have seen it coming.

In some sketchy den with a khajiit

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

The fucking Russians, of course.

After the last and final of many disappearances, rumours grow of a man named Anonymous. No one met him in person, but everyone knew who he was. Over time the stories are embellished and exaggerated, eventually becoming a shorthand for the very concept of anonymity

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

I am very satisfied with this outcome

Sleeping with the fishes

I probably say something
And it gets me in trouble

Edit:
Hahaha I actually forgot my username and thought I was using one that I use elsewhere, but this still applies exactly the same 🤣😭

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

Self Explanatory actually.

A Japanese Math Rock band murders me

Something not safe for work, and probably not safe at all.

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

Frozen to death at a mountain resort after being haunted by ghosts who wanted me to murder my family. (The Shining)

Mashing Keys

By Japanese sword thrust

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

I think I get run over by self driving Tesla.

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

Raptured by the One True Dog

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

Death by snu snu? Not really how I wanted to go -- unless it kills both of us.

Sailing. I guess an accident

"D'un coup d'épée,
Frappé par un héros, tomber la pointe au coeur !"...
-- Oui, je disais cela !... Le destin est railleur !...
Et voilà que je suis tué dans une embûche,
Par-derrière, par un laquais, d'un coup de bûche !
C'est très bien. J'aurai tout manqué, même ma mort.

Alone in my apartment and nobody checks on me for not responding, because I stopped responding long before.

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

Too many pineapples

Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …

Furiously stroking my willy.

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

Died in a rocket accident and quickloads didn't work

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

Derogatory slur

Err.. I don't even know how to understand that. Eaten by kraken?