this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
970 points (99.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

30533 readers
4666 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] YoiksAndAway@lemmy.zip 148 points 1 week ago (6 children)

"Pull forward after fueling or get shot"?

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 84 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Station owner sounds like a fake tough guy who cries about DEI.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 week ago

So a standard Trump supporter?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sure, he's like that on the surface, but I bet his station is willing to accept huge, suggestively shaped loads, if you know what I mean.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm just imagining some trucker who didn't see the sign walking into the store to buy some snacks

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It isn't the owner going to be doing the shooting. It's the guy stuck waiting behind an empty truck. That's the joke.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If you say so, and obviously that trucker couldn't shoot the guy walking out with snacks.

That's impossible.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] False@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

"Sorry, my cock is too big for that"

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (5 children)

It's a joke about truckers that fuel and then fuck around while the guy behind them is fuming with impatience. LOL, I've been that guy.

"OH FFS MOVE!"

Besides, truckers are on more of a schedule than the rest of us tooling around.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Guessing Texas

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 67 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's just the latest Bezos rocket under wraps. The final version will achieve perfect penis proportions for getting deep into space.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 23 points 1 week ago

assuming it doesn’t just blow its load all over the Caribbean

[–] tacofox@lemm.ee 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

BREAKING: “Dr.Evil is suing Jeff Bezos for IP infringement. Dr.Evil gives statement on the matter. - “What’s next freaking lasers on freaking sharks!?”” More at 11pm.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 week ago

That's contraband in the state of Texas.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

LPT.

If you're using a toy that big, the neighbors and the police already know what's going on

Responding for a friend

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] elannasdad@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

"It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else."

[–] jrwperformance@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What is it actually? Is it some price of industrial equipment that just happens to look like a Johnson? Or is it part of a parade float or something?

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What is that thing in the sky? It looks like a huge...

JOHNSON!

Yes sir?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Maybe a planter? Something like this which folds out to this.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

🎶 Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June

In a Kenworth pullin' dong 🎶

[–] Glitterkoe@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Now that's a strapon if I've ever seen one. And it might actually get off if it goes flacid halfway 🤔

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›