I'm just boggled by the fact that "a toilet you flush with your phone" ever gof off the stoner couch. who the fuck wants to pull out a phone and press a button every time they take a piss.

Sensors if you move, yeah they're a thing that's given us all a surprise shifting our weight but a fucking app???

[–] thisNotMyName@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You have your phone in your hands anyway, admit it!

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 4 days ago

I ain't tabbin' out of lemmy for a courtesy flush

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I would expect a "smart" toilet to flush when I stood up or moved away. Why anybody would ever require a phone to turn on a faucet is beyond ridiculous.

[–] Fribbtastic@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"Smart" apparently doesn't mean "it does things on its own" but simply "you can control it over our app"

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[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

who the fuck wants to pull out a phone and press a button every time they take a piss.

There could be a use case in public restrooms or retirement homes, but a usage sensor and timer would do the job better.

[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I 100% would not pair my phone to a public toilet just to flush it

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I would 100% pair my phone, so that I could flush it while others were using it.

[–] debil@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

stoner couch

Stealing this one!

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 6 days ago

I mean, obviously a manual handle would be a requirement, but I could possibly see it? Like the idea of an app controlled bidet is not that far fetched because they have a lot of buttons and settings (obviously I want physical buttons too).

[–] forkradiofact@lemm.ee 49 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Has nobody else pointed out this is clearly not real?

[–] cass80@programming.dev 23 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Yeah first thing I did was search the web for more information. Zero results...

I bet most of these other commenters also complain about boomers eating up fake news.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 days ago

I have become the red shirt from my favorite SMBC comic

However, my feelings regarding smart devices remain intact

[–] logan_hero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago

Just searching around got me their link: https://t.me/ctobtch , and their channel posted this post a few days ago.

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago

I honestly could not tell. It's completely believable that something this stupid would exist. Like I didn't necessarily believe it was but I wasn't confident in either direction.

[–] Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Oh we're the idiots. Never saw that coming

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (7 children)

Maybe it needs a connection cause it takes a picture of your feces and sends it to an AI analysis service. If anomalies are detected, it tells you that you should take the stool sample to a laboratory for further study, then lets you flush. Poof, smart toilet. I could see people with too much money buying this.

Edit: Thought about it some more.. why stop at feces images? Why not also have a high resolution camera pointed at your anus taking crowning shots and analyzing those. Tell users if anythings wrong. The future is ~~bright~~ brown boys. The future is brown.

Edit2: You could even have motion based security.. alert if anyone broke in through your bathroom. Cameras in toilets people! What could go wrong?

Edit3: Hear me out. User controlled bidet mode + anus camera. Take out your phone and clean your ass in first person. Score points if you clean your whole ass and compete on an online scoreboard. Tech sure is amazing.

[–] Rinox@feddit.it 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

If anomalies are detected, it tells your insurance company so they can increase your rates or drop you before you actually need to go to the hospital and cost them any money.

ftfy

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Sorry, Euro defaultism.. my healthcare is affordable. You can always run Tolet Assistant on a raspberry pi at home and let your shit never leave the network.

[–] ellypony@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

a little bit like this?

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There is no reason it needs an always on connection for this. Even if there was a camera in the bowl taking pictures of poo (which raises so many privacy questions), the device could easily save hundreds of HD+ quality picture (assuming a toilet camera had that resolution) and send them next time connection is secure.

Always online functionality only makes sense when the function itself is an online task such as a video call or looking up information not saved locally.

Having an always online connection for a toilet suggest it's gathering much more information passively from your home, using voice activated as a cover to always be listening and thus relaying what it records to server/data center to be filtered through for marketable or exploitable data.

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 15 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite

Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

I'm kind of far away fyom being a luddite, senior software developer, codes for fun, builds electronic stuff with wifi etc.

My toilet was built and installed before internet was invented and will not be changed for anything smart, neither is my toaster, dish washer, stove, locks, etc. etc. Ever. Over my dead body (if you want to be disinherited).

[–] Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Sure but I'm also all for innovating and watching these things fail. Isn't there a value in letting dumb rich people with money waste their wealth on dumb ideas. It keeps them from doing things like buying Twitter

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I mean, it could be. Imagine getting a push notification when it overflows. The lowest pipe in my house is a toilet. Luckily my wife was nearby but it could've gone worse if we didn't see for a bit.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is a job for water detectors, which I have no qualms about connecting to the internet. They have the added benefit of detecting leaky pipes as well

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[–] funkyfarmington@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I'm not a Luddite, shit just has to be reliable and actually useful without violating my privacy. Wait a minute...

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

they can always ask chatgpt how to fix the problem

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 9 points 6 days ago

Home assistant everything is a yaml away

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