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CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al

LadyButterfly@lemmy.world

dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Vent about an Ask Lemmy post (lemmy.ml)

submitted 15 hours ago by doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I recently made the post above.

Overall the responses were insightful, and I had a joy responding to some comments. ✨

I ended up choosing the comment that made most sense, and included an edit explaining to guys what I think would have been best in that situation if they were the ones walking by.

But after I added those edits in, it seems to have ruffled the feathers of some men, whom took it upon themselves to insult me and or throw shade upon me for my conclusions.

I did get the insight I wished for, and better understand the situation that occured. But I didn't want to also have dirt in my mouth after eating my meal.

I wish that in times like this there was a way for me to mute threads etc. 😞

Vent over, meow meow meow.

top 10 comments

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[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 8 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Man or woman, I'll trudge through the mud just so I don't have to interact with any human in any conceivable way. 👍

Most men on Lemmy get extremely upset when women voice a general bad experience with men and why women take caution when interacting with / being around strangers who are men.

They actually seem to not even be able to comprehend what women have to go through on that front, so our caution seems overblown and absolutely ridiculous to them. They think we're paranoid, overreacting, or flat-out lying.

Bring up the "man or bear"-thing again on Lemmy. Go on. I fucking dare you. It apparently infuriates the vast majority and you will be dogpiled.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 4 points 8 hours ago

Bring up the “man or bear”-thing again on Lemmy.

Huh. I could have sworn I brought it up before but I can't find it. I must have done so on Mastodon instead.¹

Sometimes I bring up topics so I can figure out who needs a good blocking. "Man or bear" is a perfect example of such a topic. 🤭

¹ I did, it turns out: https://mstdn.social/@ZDL/114351736040310233

[–] Greercase@lemmus.org 13 points 14 hours ago

You might not have intended it but your other post feels like bait. Is this the first time this has ever happened to you? I step to the side a lot and am a woman. I have friends of all genders who do this. It's imho a strange thing to post about in the first place and then you asked specifically for male feedback. You also mentioned your outfit and posted a picture of it. If you thought only men could offer insight and that what you looked like would be relevant then the conclusion about it being covid related seems at odds with that. It looks like some comments are just pointing that out. No one deserves hate or shade for posting what you posted though and I see someone had their comment removed and someone started bringing up transphobia. Im sorry to see that happened.

As an aside, I do think it's fine if men want to give women additional space. Men don't have to think of themselves as a threat in order to do that. When I'm walking dogs I will do the same thing. Not because I think the dog is potentially dangerous or anything. I just don't know if that person wants to be close to a dog so I make a point of stepping aside. It's courteous. Not everyone does it and it's not mandatory but it's fine if they do. I do it myself if it's late sometimes and I'm passing a child or almost anyone who is smaller than me. I want them to know that I see them and am cognizant of their space.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Oh lord there's comment that's just manosphere bingo. I can imagine the other remarks you were getting. Certain men see something like this and see it as them being victimised, oppressed and just want to attack it. It's a scary mindset.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

The funny part to me is that's the .ml instance. The openly left-communist instance. And it's still filled to the brim with regressive trogs.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I didn't know .ml was left-communist (the ML I thought stood for Marxist-Leninist, which is certainly not left-communist).

I thought they leaned authoritarian, more "tankie" (e.g. defending Russia and North Korea) rather than anti-authoritarian. 🤔

My experience with .ml folks has certainly been that they are of that aggressive authoritarian strain. As I understand it, of the ml Lemmy devs even suggested the bourgeoisie are pushing a pro-trans (and LGBT+) agenda and thus it's unlikely they would be anti-trans.

Not that I enjoy inviting the wrath of ml users on me or mentioning Lemmy in-fighting in the first place, just that this is the first time I've heard they're left-communist.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 2 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

I thought it was the other .ml one (forget its name) that was the "tankie" one?

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

IIRC Lemmygrad is the third of the "tankie triad" that you may have been thinking of, along with Hexbear and Lemmy.ml

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 1 points 5 hours ago

Lemmygrad, yes. That was the one. I've never seen much about Hexbear so can't comment.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 7 hours ago

honestly not sure - there is also hexbear (maybe that's the one you were thinking of?) which is also obnoxiously tankie, so much so that lots of instances defederate from them

(these are glossed over impressions on my part, I don't know enough to speak about this, tbh - just hoping someone else knows more than me, lol)