this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Hello. So last week I went to a school reunion for the 20th anniversary of my hometown school. I'm not the kind of person who enjoy this kind of social events, but for this time I made an exception. My old friend from that time asked me to go and I thought I would be funny (spoiler alert: it wasn't funny). After the event and speeches, all my classmates and I went to a restaurant. I sat in front of a girl that I had a bit of a crush on when I was a kid. During the dinner I was mostly in silence, they were talking about gossips, old memories, relationships, comparisons... At some point she talked about a boyfriend she had. She said that she cheated on him like 10 or 20 times, she didn't know the exact number. The thing is... She was laughing about it, and so the others. "I told him I cheated on him, I don't know how many times.." She said, like nothing happened. My ex girlfriend told me that she also cheated on his fiancée some time before the wedding. She always said that infidelities are always there, like it is normal... But is it? I've been thinking about it for some time now, because I know some other cases. But I don't understand... There is no sense of morality ot loyalty or empathy?

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[–] ganryuzt@lemm.ee 4 points 6 days ago

Welcome to The Against Matrimony Club, we have mimosas.

[–] PillowTalk420@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

I think monogamy might just be the uncommon thing, personally.

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Incredibly common. I haven't seen any recent estimates but I recall at one time that ~15% of children did not have the biological fathers than they thought they did. It's not to point the finger at women - rates of infidelity may be even higher among men, it's just harder to track independently.

[–] folaht@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I believed it was ~15% of fathers who did paternity tests, thus already suspecting infidelity, not overall numbers?

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

This wasn't a published study. This was beers with the folks in the genetics lab at the hospital I worked at. No patient names or other identifying information was involved. They did tissue matching etc. and ran into the issue all the time. On a personal note two close friends have found out they had different biological dads than they thought they did. So maybe my perspective is skewed somewhat.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

It’s not to point the finger at women

Just point it at humans unless you're talking about cheaters who step out to swing for the other team.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 6 days ago

I’ve been on both sides of it. While not super regular, I’d say it’s not uncommon. Discussing it openly isn’t.

My buddy went to Amsterdam and had the restraint to only get handjobs and has never otherwise gone behind his wife’s back. I’d be surprised if any of my other friends did anything. One couple has guests over for mutual threesomes, so no need for infidelity for them. I know my ex hooked up with another female despite knowing she had a bf. People are ok with lowering their standards when an opportunity presents itself.

[–] digdilem@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago

Some people are just shittier than others. What they look like on the outside has no bearing on their inner beauty.

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