this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I've been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just "get over it". I've lost almost everyone I'm close to because of this and I'm starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it's unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

My guy. I hear you and see you. It’s unfortunate the way things landed for you. Keep putting in the hard work. I wish I had more advice for you, but I’m down in the weeds in a similar “friend” situation myself.

I will say this: do things to take care of yourself. Keep the house clean, make yourself bonafide dinners, and treat yourself every now and again.

[–] SaintOwlPizza25@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

Holy shit man, reading your story was just slightly diffrent than mine. Like looking into a mirror.

My partner broke up with me 5 months ago, we've been together for 11 years with a kid of 5 years old.

I lost it a couple weeks ago now and had to be checked into a mental facility. My sister is helping my ex and long story short no one is on my side. I have one friend and my Mum doing her best to help, but if you ever want to talk. I'm here for you dude.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sucks getting no to little support and being betrayed like this. Please if you're in a bad head space, I'll be here for you and do my best to get back ASAP.

[–] 790@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I think I need sleep. I thought you were writing that you got $30 million after your divorce. I was wondering who you were complaining to.

On a serious note. Are you ok?

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago

37m going through it now. Mutual aid groups have been supporting me and providing me with community.

Its likely those people just weren't your friends or even gave a shit about your situation.

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Men are disposable in a genetic and social sense

Add on top of that patriarchy hurts us too, forwarding the 'strong silent' fiction

Everyone is shitty nowadays, not just your circle

hitting half a century this year, no one except me has ever given a fuck about my struggles

[–] Unlocalhost@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You should seek some help or at least find a support group. Churches have them and usually aren't too godly about the if you are opposed to religion.

Also stay off social media. It's only a window into the best parts of someones life.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

As if my SO would ever go through Lemmy

[–] TronBronson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I just had an old friend hit me up to talk after his recent heartbreak. My dog had died my aunty had cancer and I’m at rock bottom with my finances. Haven’t heard from this friend in years. No idea what I was going through.

I realized all my friends from my youth were really shitty. Lack of reciprocal respect and kindness over the decades really dried up my empathy response. I sent him a rap lyric and wished him the best.

From my experience those emotions are wasted on others. This is completely anecdotal but something to reflect on. I get the sense that your friendships were not worth keeping and at this point it probably doesn’t matter whose fault that is.

[–] FreedomAdvocate@lemmy.net.au 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sucks to hear that mate. Unfortunately with most breakups, many/most shared friends will “pick a side”, either by feeling like they need you or by being asked to by 1 or both of the parties. For whatever reason it sounds like your ex got most of them - possibly by lying about the relationship and break up, as cheaters tend to lie a lot.

You have to think of it this way - if this is how they behave, they weren’t real friends in the first place and you’re better off without them. It might not feel like it, but you’re better off without them.

It sounds cliche but hit the gym, unfollow and BLOCK her on everything, and invest in YOU. You’ll quickly make new friends when you want to 1 again, the gym is great for this. Working out makes you feel good, will make you healthier and better looking, and the people there are generally there for the same reasons.

I’ve been told, and from personal experience it seems right, that it generally takes about 3 years to get over someone you loved after a break up. It might suck till then, but one day you’ll just realize you don’t have any feelings at all towards them any more.

[–] xektop@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Friends come and go, maybe you don't feel that way now but people can learn to live not depending on anybody for their well being. You just have to find your way and new friendships with the right people will show you that there is more to life than clinging on the past. Good luck!

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Getting support is not always a given. Try to get some hobbies and new friends.

[–] SerotoninSwells@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

OP, are you OK? I hope you're ok. It sucks what you're going through and it is hard. You got this. ❤️

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