Ask Lemmy

I've only cried at Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I'm a dude in his 40s. If anything, I've gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.

Used to be I never cried at anything. Ever. Then I started watching the saddest shows I could find specifically for the purpose of making me cry because I figured that wasn't healthy. Now I'm a total crybaby and I gotta admit, I'm happier for it.

I used to be a massive weeb so most of my sad moments are from anime, but if you really want to bawl your eyes out, Violet Evergarden and A Silent Voice are my two go to picks for when I want to absolutely destroy myself.

I tear up at most movies. It's not a sad movie, but Everything Everywhere All at Once holds the current record for most cries.

Generally if a movie doesn't make me tear up at least once that's a bad sign. At the same time I don't gravitate towards tearjerkers, they can feel emotionally manipulative and heavy handed.

I almost never cry for TV shows or books.

Am 41 y/o dude not that it matters

It does matter because a 41 y/o dude is also allowed to have and express emotions.

The older I get, the more I don't give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son... Gets me every damn time.

And books.

If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.

There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.

I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.

Growing up, I'd occasionally tear up over a sad movie.

Now that I'm older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let's me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I've encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.

Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it's full on sobbing.

Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.

It's not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.

works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it's been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now

Yup, all the time. To give an example, yesterday I watched DC League of Super Pets with my child and cried quite a lot at one bit (if you've seen it, you probably know which bit). It's a solid movie overall too - great voice cast.

It's not unusual for me to cry when reading or listening to the news.

I'm 41 too, but a woman.

Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.

if i get triggered i will have a full body cry that lasts an hour and ill just be sitting there in the seat after the lights come on soaked in tears unable to move it's really embarrassing thanks pixar you fucking asshole

Yeah.

Occasionally I'll come across scenes in an anime that are so out of place but hurt.

Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.

Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.

Yep. I'm a reasonably masculine-presenting guy and most good movies or shows will make me tear up at some point, it's a standard occurrence if the story has grabbed me in any satisfying way and brought me on the resulting emotional highs and/or lows.

We joke around about it in my household because my wife is a mostly femme-presenting woman, but she generally doesn't tear up at films or shows while I'm next to her having what old stereotypes would say is the girly reaction. It's not that she isn't experiencing the story as fully or anything, she can be enjoying something just as much as I and the emotional reaction just affects us differently because (gasp!) we're two different people.

I cry watching space rockets launching.

The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I'm not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don't seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won't know if I'm doing it right. I'm just going to say it's the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.

My memory sucks so can't remember much, but:

The Hunger Games (1) when

I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.

But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The "veil of innocence", as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn't beautiful, its hell, its horror.

Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.

I do. Not very often, but not super rare either.

It can help when I'm miserable, as a form of emotional release.

Mainly on anime for me, I guess, largely because that's what I watch most. I don't think I've felt that emotional on other film media.

The most recent anime that touched me was Ave Mujica: The Die Is Cast.

I cried like a baby watching Titanic and Interstellar. I also cried at the end of WALL*E

I rarely cried when watching shows of movies for most of my life.. then I started transitioning and taking estrogen. Now I cry so easily it feels like a joke. But I love it.

Me, alot actually. If your movie made me feel nothing it probably sucked. If it actually managed to make me cry it's probably a pretty good movie.

Very rarely, but I have a few times.

C'mon C'mon starring Joaquin Phoenix and a 12 year old kid made my ball my eyes out.

Yeah, I get teary eyed when watching movies all the time. I watched the new Lil and stitch the other week and even though the story isn't super deep, it made me cry a little in the end.

Yup, i do this too - my personal highlight was crying at ... Wall-e, when he thinks that Eve died.

I'm over 40, and this started 10 or 15 years ago, when i started to go to therapy a lot more.

But i think it's great to be able to live and feel with imaginary characters, and a sign of empathy.

Big Fish in particular got me because my dad is similar to the protagonist's.

Yes it is normal, that scene in the animated movie up gets me. John Q too.

My first time crying at a movie was a little while after I started HRT. It was Into The Spider-Verse. Dad Morales tells his son "I love you, but you don't have to say it back."

That movie is a trans allegory fr

Very rarely.

Me for sure. Every so often, I'll pull something up just for the sake of some tears.

My go-tos include (in no particular order):

• Avengers: Endgame
• The Fellowship of the Ring
• Patch Adams
• The Deathly Hallows (Part 2)
• Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
• Avatar: The Last Airbender
• The Owl House
• House MD (Season 4 finale)

Probably some more I'm not thinking of, at the moment.

The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.

Yes, but very rarely. Most stories just don't affect me that way.

I cried reading about Opportunity. Not losing one or the lack thereof.

The Mars Rover.

Also the Wikipedia article on the Miracle on the Hudson. No I haven't seen the Tom Hanks movie nor do I plan to unless I really need an ugly cry.

I don't usually cry during movies. But sometimes later when I'm thinking about it I let out a tear or two. Also I cried during a voyager documentary

Anyone here watch K Dramas? Crash Landing on You emotionally broke me. I knew they couldn't keep portraying North Korea as good, but they didn't have to do all that....

I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. "The penguin of my life" was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.

And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.

I think I am more open for this since I'm older (40s), when I was young I would've never let myself be that open.

I do. I actually love to cry. I have a playlist on YouTube called Cry, just because I need to feel that sometimes.

I also seem to have some sort of audio-tactile synesthesia, because there are a few exact moments in some music pieces to make my head tingle and my eyes drain like waterfalls. Not even always sad parts and I don’t feel bad. Eyes just start running like the cops are chasing them.