Ask Lemmy

Everyone high roading you here is probably on anti-anxiety meds lol

I know everyone in here’s saying no but I do. If I’m going to a social occasion I might have a drink beforehand; not much, just enough to feel it. I’m not the most comfortable in social situations and a beer can just take the edge off. I don’t get drunk or anything and I’d only do it if there’s going to be alcohol there anyway.

I also drink sometimes to help me sleep. I have ADHD and I struggle to switch my brain off. Sometimes I hit like 2am and if I think I need it I have a bottle of whisky downstairs that I’ll go and have a drink off. Again, just enough to feel it. I have pills and medicine that help me sleep, and they work also, but they leave me feeling groggy the next day. With a little whisky I don’t even feel it the next day and it seems to work just as well. I don’t do it too often, maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks.

I strategically refrain from alcohol or other drug consumption. And my life has improved drastically ever since.

Whatever the reason that you feel you have to abuse drugs as a coping mechanism, it will only make things worse. You will not be able to process your emotions, you will not be able to think clear about what is your best way forward and you will not be able to grow stronger while drugged up.

The fact that you say you "needed to be anesthetized" for an uncomfortable conversation screams that you are either already having a drug abuse problem and that you have issues with your emotional regulation.

Hey man, I downvoted but i wanted to tell you why. My family has multiple alcoholics. I’m not judging you at all, but i a wanted to encourage you to find other coping mechanism. Alcohol is very dangerous, especially when used that way. Be safe, bro.

No, but I don't drink strategically. If you need to have a hard conversation or do something difficult, you should probably have your whole brain in use.

Yes, millions of people for thousands of years have done something like this. It's called liquid courage for a reason. I used to give myself exact small doses of alcohol to loosen up my introversion before social situations. If your job depends on it, it's basically a performance enhancer.

Not promoting alcoholism here, despite what I'm sure lots of comments will say. Personally, I barely drink at all anymore because it's gotten really hard on my body. Just giving a different viewpoint. There's so much addict pearl-clutching in here. Plenty of people can and do use drugs and alcohol responsibly. If you "don't need" them, great. If responsible doses help you live better, great.

Sure, but I was also an alcoholic. Very high functioning, but still at the end 100% dependant on it.

The slope is so treacherously flat, you don't feel yourself slipping. I still have no idea how I ended up where I did, or for that matter how I ended up actually managing to quit.

I'm sure some people can use liquid courage without it turning into depending on it to do the hard things, then more and more things turning hard and needing a boost to do it, or can wash away work with a drink at the end of the week, without having to wash it away at the end of every day, and then having a quick rinse-and-reset at lunch, and so on... But it's impossible to know which one you are until it's too late.

I mean, you could call it strategic, or you could call it relying on substances as a crutch to manage your emotions.

I'm not saying that's always bad, necessarily. There is the school of thought that it's just a tool, like in your edit. But, it's important to remember it can become a habit.

Lots of people warning you about alcoholism. Idk. I drink coffee strategically every day, and that's a drug. But also yes, I sometimes drink alcohol strategically. If I know I'm going to hang out with my sister who I love but disagree with on many many things, i have a drink or two. I try to dull my brain just enough that I am too slow to get offended at every single thing (or just don't care to, maybe?) in the end, we have a great time, I don't get all debate-ey with her, and instead just appreciate the good things about her. We don't see each other that often so I genuinely don't see any danger from this coping mechanism.

This is how you become an alcoholic.

Yes, I strategically drink every day

Anxiety is necessary sometimes. It’s fine to be anxious and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. You are having trouble managing your anxiety seek a therapist. Alcohol will trick you into thinking it’s a solution. Be careful, this is very similar to how my alcoholism and my fathers started.

I've been doing "tipsy chore day" for a while. Do a chore > glass of wine > do another chore > glass of wine.... I may as well finish the bottle > do a chore > final glass.

Chores are less boring, and you push through them to get your next glass. Has to be wine though, beer I don't get a buzz going, and spirits have me incompetent.

I had the opposite situation several times. Conversations that involved fair quantities of alcohol derailed gradually, and afterwards I realized everyone's attitude had shifted in a more aggressive direction, including my own. So this wouldn't be a useful strategy for myself 😊.

Using alcohol as a method to resolve personal problems can be a very dark path. Please be careful.

Yes, my strategy is I don't drink and in turn I don't get hangovers

I have a drink before my DnD sessions as it loosens me up and brings me out of my shell a bit. I imagine that could be called strategic drinking.

As long as you're not relying on alcohol just to get through the day, and you can function well in your life without it, there's nothing wrong with having a drink before a tough conversation.

Humans have been using alcohol as a social lubricant for thousands of years. That doesn't make it safe, but it's also not a great evil, in moderation.

That’s a sign of unmanaged dependency.

PSA to the youngs who see Box of Wine and think QUANTITY.

Box of wine actually stays best longest because the tapped bag doesn't take in O2 and start to sour. So box wine is usually pretty par for paced domestic drinking and cooking.

I'm sure someone has smashed the box, but they also serve people who are more likely to leave the last glass in the bottle too long.

Bought Box does not mean Drank Box.

Short answer... no. Long answer... Noooooooooooooooooooo

For conversations I need to have, I rehearse in my head and mutter quips to myself to prepare myself for all contingencies.

This isn't so I will say these words to the person, but more that I'm convincing myself and arming my mouth when my brain wanders off as it is wont to do.

On the actual day, I drink a soothing tea and don't say anything unless the uncomfortable topic is brought up. If people clock onto my calm confidence, they usually don't instigate.

I've learned from early on that people prey only on those they perceive weak, but to pre-emptively strike is to invite ruin. So I prepare and stay quiet.

Beer would ruin that planning as I am a lightweight

Oh absolutely. I don't drink much outside parties (less and less nowadays) but I like having a stiff drink sometimes before doing something laborious or something requiring a bit of creativity. Nothing like a glass of whisky while messing around with the homelab servers.

I would never do this, because alcohilism runs in my family, and I'd be afraid to become dependend. That said, I know not everyone has the same risk to become an alcoholic, so if it helps and you can manage, do what you have to, life is hard enough as it is sometimes.

Not exactly like that but I don't drink very often but decide to before like state of the unions now.