this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Why or why not?

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

If there's an expectation of sex we'd have to figure out if we're compatible in that way.

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Yes and why not?

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yes. Penis or vagina matters little to me.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

interesting but not surprising to see the focus on gentials - after all the biggest problem (and for some, the biggest perk) has to do with the genital mismatch

It's hard because not all trans people fit a single "type" - some of us get support as children and avoid going through the wrong puberty and live pretty much as cis people (though that doesn't guarantee access to SRS).

I can't remember exactly so take this with a grain of salt, but over half of trans people want SRS but only around 12% actually have had SRS. So statistically it's probably true a given trans person is pre-op.

Anyway, for me dating a trans person comes with a lot more than just gential configuration, it involves their daily experiences of dysphoria, discrimination, the sensitivities about how they want to be touched or not touched, how their voice sounds, their mix of socialized gendered traits, etc.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Absolutely, there’s a lot more to it than just the genitals, but to be fair, everyone has a large number of differences from the mean- I’ve met bio women with very deep voices, with unflattering figures, who’ve experienced misogyny, etc.

Apart from the genitals, everything a trans person had that might differentiate them from a cis person can still be present in a cis person.

I tend to agree, many facets of trans experience are found in cis people. It is not acknowledged how much gender diversity exists in cis populations. Many victims of trans moral panic are cis, often cis women of color are the ones targeted in bathrooms for being mistaken as trans.

I guess with trans people there are some aspects like transition experience that won't exist in cis populations- but I love your point, thank you for that. πŸ’ž

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[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Sadly no. I want kids of my own someday.

that is a struggle, and with a trans woman it is possible they have frozen sperm and fertility treatments are possible, but having both your sperm and your wife's sperm gets problematic, I don't know if they have a method of accomplishing this.

And you would still need someone to have the baby for you. It's tragic, tbh - I would love to see a succcessful uterus transplant in my lifetime 😭

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[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago (5 children)

If I found out someone was cis whom I'd otherwise consider dating, it would probably be difficult to maintain interest.

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[–] TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Likely not. I'm a cis straight man who tends to be into women who aren't into men, so while particularly feminine women aren’t my thing, the parts matter to me in terms of dating/having sex. Fully post-op and passing would certainly consider, but I know that's not always the goal for trans folks.

[–] morphballganon@mtgzone.com 3 points 1 week ago

Sure.

I find like 99% of people unattractive, though, cis and trans alike.

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 3 points 1 week ago

Been there, done that. It was great, but didn't last for other reasons. I'm now cis married with kids and don't regret a thing.

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah. Half the people I’ve dated are trans.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I personally wouldn't, but I certainly wouldn't disparage others who would.

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[–] AnotherUsername@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

That's such a weird order of operations. Like, your medical conditions are simultaneously such a big part of your life, and yet also so deeply personal that it feels like they should not be part of the initial conversation, which is supposed to be shallow and light, not immediately heavy duty.

I think perhaps there are other more important considerations than mere trans-ness, like "do they have the same overall life goals that I have" and "are they taking care of their mind and body and fitness". But transness may inform those aspects. If a significant focus of their life is on their own gender, I might struggle with that. If they're already at a point where they have dealt with it and moved on to other things, then it might work. If they have comorbid issues beyond transness, like depression and anxiety, that can be a deal breaker unless they are managing themselves and putting in the work.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As long as they have the matching equipment then I'm totally fine with it.

I've always wanted to try out dating an mtf girl

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ew. We're not something for you to "try out".

The entire concept of dating is trying someone out

As long as it's post op, sure. Only reasonable issue I can think of is no kids, but I don't want kids anyway so there is basically just no issues.

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