this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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me_irl
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Meh, it gets a bit unsettling and empty when you get into your 40s. At least it did for me. We had a kid (much) later in life and I'm glad we did. We had our DINK fun in our 30s, and I still long for those days sometimes. But having a kid is like filling a hole you didn't realize you had. And there are moments of joy and bonding that are simply indescribable.
Anyway, to each their own.
to each their own
This is kinda my message to OP et al. You do you, you don't have to try to shame people who choose something else.
Admittedly, there's a "having kids" version of CompHet, like, people sometimes have kids because they feel like they have to, like they're supposed to, not because they want to, and that's dumb. But those people aren't addressed by the message of the OP, nor are they provided insight into the reality of OP's wisdom: you don't have to if you don't want to.
And some parents are fucking annoying. They think they're more important than everyone else (even their own kids) because they chose to take on more responsibility. No DINK should ever have to give up their spot in line, or work longer hours, because of your smug self-righteousness. But -- again -- these people aren't addressed by OP. (And, importantly, not all parents are like that.)
I have kids and I love having kids. I have no qualms with anyone who doesn't have kids. I sometimes have qualms with people who do have kids. Fight the real enemy.
We're in our 40's. Wanted kids but couldn't have them. It was hard, and sometimes still is, but we're the cool aunt/uncle and we're making the best of the extra freedom and money we have.
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it gets a bit unsettling and empty when you get into your 40s.
that's a mid life crisis. I'm glad having a kid helped you through it. Also a better option than running away with a hooker, maybe.
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It’s a wonderful life, not having children. Well, a less shitty one, anyway.
Life with a kid has been anything but shitty but ymmv
Maybe take your kid to the doctor if no shit has been involved so far.
I wouldn't attempt to persuade anybody to have children, but being a dad has been the best thing in my life bar none. I was that rare custodial single dad to a daughter and certain years of financial struggle aside, I wouldn't trade the experience for all the wealth on the planet.
She's grown now. Today it's a friendship/mentor/advisor relationship in which we play the mentor/advisor role with each other. I give her guidance, and she does the same for me.
She has no plans to have children because she sees bringing a child into this shit stain of a timeline as a moral failure, and I'm fine with that.
She says she may adopt someday, and as the son of a mother who suffered the American foster care system, I can't see that pursuit as anything other than noble.
But really. If you're happy not having kids, I support that. I truly do.
I'll conclude with this - she made me a better person, and for that, I'll be eternally grateful.
[wipingTearsWithWadsOfMoney.gif]
As I write this, a neighbor's child is bawling publicly outside my home.
Yeah, all parents seem to want to tell us how their life was meaningless before they had kids, but I'm good.
I've seen some of the most insanely inappropriate behavior from kids. Yes the fault is mainly the parents but the other day a child literally tried to take my milkshake because they could. It was awkward and if I'd been a couple steps further away I think the kid would've grabbed it out of the worker's hand. The parent said nothing, probably because they spend all day every day saying no and it's exhausting.
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But then you don't get any crappy gifts on Father's Day 🤷♂️
Says who? You can afford to get yourself a nice lego set every holiday, you ain't got no crotch fruit taking all your moneys
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That's the best.
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