this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
188 points (77.6% liked)

Asklemmy

47436 readers
845 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!โ€ etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] Gabu@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago (12 children)

"Guys" is gender neutral already...

load more comments (12 replies)
[โ€“] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

folks, y'all, youse

friends / friend

comrades / comrade

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] Nemo@midwest.social 18 points 1 year ago (4 children)
  • cousins

  • friends

  • y'all

  • neighbors

  • folks

  • party party people

  • fellow-travellers

and, of course

  • fam
load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

Is buddy really a problem?

I'd be more worried that someone thinks I'm treating them like a dog, than a man.

[โ€“] frefi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago

for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"

[โ€“] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

Guys is 100% gender neutral.

Also, can't go wrong with the old standby "Stay Fresh, Cheesebags!"

load more comments (7 replies)
[โ€“] Agent641@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] anarchost@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

You're asking about a collective and also a singular...

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".

When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.

load more comments (4 replies)
[โ€“] SecretPancake@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[โ€“] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.

I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.

Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.

Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.

[โ€“] anarchost@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Buddy" elicits so many conflicting feelings in me.

Encino Man "buuuuudy"

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago
[โ€“] Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.

[โ€“] onlooker@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

Fellow bipedal meat-things.

[โ€“] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.

[โ€“] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] Arghblarg@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] 58008@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

My darlings, tell me everything.

[โ€“] thorbot@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[โ€“] craig9@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".

"Hey people, how's it going?"

That works for me

[โ€“] GTG3000@programming.dev 12 points 1 year ago

"What's up everypony?"

load more comments
view more: โ€น prev next โ€บ