Ask Lemmy

No, no, and no.

I was born into a dying world. Before I was old enough to have a say, my elders sold our planet to corporations. Now, fascism is rising across the globe, global temperatures are reaching critical levels, and we're circling the drain of late-stage capitalism. To introduce new life to this world would be a mistake. I would never damn anyone else to my fate.

I've had to break off het relationships over not wanting to children, but I've never regretted it. If anything, each new horror that happens reinforces my vow.

No.

No.

And also, no.

Long before I was diagnosed as being autistic and having ADHD, I knew that I would be a shitty parent. I'm often wrapped up in my own world and busy doing my own thing, and that doesn't work very well for relationships, and considerably less well for raising a child.

I have cats, I have a spouse. That's enough.

Is like to, but I won't before I'm in a good enough life situation, and either seems improbable or very far away, and while men can definitely have kids to very late in life, I don't want to wear diapers at the same time as my kids might.

So yeah, mixed feelings.

If I won the lotto right now and found a spouse, sure. Out side from that, nah, prolly not.

I have a young kid and about to have another one. I'm very happy with them. It's like I'm rising a puppy that can talk. I have a job flexible wfh work. So, I can take care of them with my partner.

The only downside are that I have a very small window of personal time, and I can't take too much financial risk as I used to, which is a good thing.

I think the decision making process behind having a kid is similar to the process when we decided to have a dog. You shouldn't have a dog just because someone push a pressure on you or something.

Nope! No interest at all. I definitely don't regret it as a millennial.

I have always been fine with children. I think seeing other people raise them with love and care and real emotional availability is the most heartening thing ever! I've even teared up a little when i see them do it well and with real emotional availability.

I was never interested but i had the question about whether i would with the right partner well into my 20's. I never felt like it was something missing from my life. Now that I'm older i see my friends all across the spectrum about the choice from joy to regret. I am confident, learning about time commitment, cost, and thinking about the liability of a human life, that i would be deep on the regret end. In fact i see not having children as the best choice I've made in life.

I'm thoroughly happy and content being child free.

I would love to have kids someday, but we aren't financially prepared yet. I'm envious of people playing with their kids, or even just mundane tasks like taking them to school or going shopping with them on the back of their parents' bike.

Unfortunately, I expect the next administration(s) to make it much more difficult for same-sex couples like us to try for AI + surrogacy or adoption, so we might be forced to wait. Hoping for expanded surrogacy and child credits, but even just writing that feels foolish.

I have one. It's awesome. But don't do it if you're not absolutely sure you want it.

!parenting@lemmy.world

I really want to have kids for a long time already, but just recently I got into a spot in life where it seems financially and personality-wise an option. For a long time I was aware that there still was a lot to develop in myself. I also wanted to see and do things, which came a bit short unfortunately, for said financially reasons. I am stillt super afraid of how things will turn out, if I am built for the strain, if I will love my kid(s) enough, teach them enough and at the same time if job-wise everything will work. I really worked hard for the job I now have, but it is science-related and tnerefore I will never see a contract which lasts longer than three years. But I just know that I will regret not having at least one kid.

I am in no financial situation to need to think about kids.

Luckily, I don't need to worry about stumbling into kids either.

Nope, and very glad I didn't.

My moral philosophy is to leave the world a better place than I found it, to have an overall positive impact.

In order to justify siring children I would need to balance it out somehow, like by raising multiple foster care children first or by donating sperm.

At first I thought I could "take it or leave it" with kids. Then I married someone who was a firm "No," but strung me along when I asked if we could adopt. Divorced now, and when I think about the idea of finding a woman to raise a family with... I'm inundated with fear and anxiety. This world is so fucked that I cry in my dreams at the thought of it. What will the world look like in my hypothetical child's lifetime?

The supposed last bastion of freedom and democracy has fully descended into fascist oligarchy. We were supposed to stop climate change before we hit 1.5 degrees of warming, we hit that last year. Now they're talking about what's going to happen when we hit 3 degrees of warming. So every natural disaster is going to be far worse, and far more frequent. The fire in LA is still burning. A fire swallowed up so much, the next one may take the entire city. Scientists have been dreading the eruption of a super volcano for a while now, saying that it could cause a global ice age, gee I wonder if climate change is making that more or less likely?? (hint: it's more.) Meanwhile NATO and the combination of russia/china/north korea/iran are preparing for the last war this world may ever see.

Not to mention that having a kid is like pooping out a ticket for half a million in debt. I already think about killing myself so often, could I really bear the thought of shackling myself to this soul sucking job for the rest of my life? Goodbye following my dreams, hello more debt.

So now I can't even bring myself to date, because despite getting divorced over it (not really, but it was a part of it), I still can't truly answer the question "Do I want kids?" Approaching 40 and time is running out. Gotta make up my mind, but in the meantime everything is getting worse.

I heard once that single life is like being the center of your life's portrait, and once you have kids, you instead become the frame. But I already feel like I've lived my whole life within the frame, and want to try being the center of my own portrait for once.

I have 4 kids, and there could be more in the future, because my wife force this more than me. I always said it's her decision.

I feel like I should have a kid but I'll never meet a woman that wants me plus me being poor. It's a terrible combination.

Yes

Assuming people on Lemmy have sex is bold.