this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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I'm looking for a job. I saw Alice works at ACME brick. Bob knows Alice. Bob and I used to work together. I asked Bob if he could introduce me to Alice so I can ask Alice 1) for help getting in touch with the hiring manager and 2) what the company culture is like. Bob said yes and I asked Alice my questions, with Bob CC'ed in the message.

This has seemed OK with most people. However Bob said my conversation with Alice seemed one sided and excessive and like I was taking advantage of him just to get to the hiring manager. I am, correctly, asking for help getting to the hiring manager, for inside info. I am not only asking that, but it is part of what I'm asking. I am also asking about company culture and advice when talking to the interviewer. Bob was very upset and I think I've burned that bridge.

Is this wrong, in general? Is it OK but not asking too often? Most people seemed to be OK with it, but I worry they were just being polite and I've been unknowingly pissing off my entire social life and hurting my chances at getting a job. (why yes, I do have anxiety and take meds.)

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[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I was in IT management for a decade. Plenty of my former employees or coworkers still come to me for help when they're job hunting, and I hook them up. That's the purpose of networking and it's standard business practice.

[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

Wish I'd realized the worth of networking sooner. Ideally, you start with it in college. I was always a loner so I simply didn't. As a result today I have zero fallbacks for when I inevitably get shitcanned.

Then again, I was always a bad liar, and "selling yourself" is essentially just that. If you don't pretend you are hot shit, you are, well, just shit.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 5 points 18 hours ago

Oh, for sure. I guess I assumed Bob made the introduction by email. So OP could reply to that intro email with a "Thanks, Bob! Alice, pleasure to meet you, I'll send you a separate email to introduce myself and blah de blah".

Acknowledge the email and thank Bob, then drop him from the convo. Regardless, Bob doesn't need to see the sausage being made.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 19 hours ago

Just start adding everyone in your field on LinkedIn. I have 1000 contacts on there and only post when I have a lead on a job and want to hook people up, or when someone I know needs to find a job. I posted for a recent college grad the other day and got him 6 interviews in a week.