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For my immediate family I've made a small self-hosted Matrix server before, although it has its own bundle of issues... if I were to do it again maybe I would choose Signal. But yeah from a pure technical standpoint there are lots of viable insta-messaging alternatives
Sadly you hit the nail on the head regarding the social media "network effect"... I also came from a non-US country that has been dominated by an instachat app that doesn't respect privacy whatsoever, but good luck convincing a group of ppl to switch to a different software. Sooo... most likely even if you really do get permabanned from Whatsapp, ppl you know in real life might just keep using Whatsapp without you anyway
But anyways, if you don't mind giving a bit of a white lie... the excuse you gave ("permabanned from Whatsapp") actually doesn't sound to bad to me IMO