this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
52 points (84.2% liked)

WomensStuff

563 readers
799 users here now

Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.

Rules…

  1. Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Any woman-identified person under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is welcome.
  2. Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
  3. Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
  4. No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.

founded 1 month ago
MODERATORS
CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al
LadyButterfly@lemmy.world
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
52
[Women Only Community Men Please Don't Comment] Men In Replies (lemmus.org)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Greercase@lemmus.org to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
26 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I've been more active in online spaces recently and I am just astounded at the number of times I'll be several comments deep with another person and a man will just jump in responding to us both with the least relevant most inflammatory take. The gender of the person I'm talking to is never relevant, but it's always a guy that interjects. I know the internet is a public forum, and I guess there's more guys on some platforms than women, but it's just shocking how often it has happened. We'll be talking about baking and some guy will come in and say that it actually costs more to bake bread at home or clothes and some guy will come in to say actually both our styles are bad. It's not even a sexist thing I don't think, I just think women are socialized more with a live and let live mentality and men are socialized to believe that everyone should hear their opinion. I don't really have any solutions. I always want to reply with something snarky about how we're not asking him or how his comment doesn't need to be shared, but I don't want to invite harassment. Their comments get upvotes or reacts in agreement and it just feels targeted. Like two people were having a casual chat and this guy comes in and derails and gets positive attention for it. I'm just venting now because it just happened in a gaming discord and I don't really have people irl who understand how these communities are helpful and how that kind of community reaction is ostracizing.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Greercase@lemmus.org 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Agree all around. I saw a thread recently about street harassment and men were just circlejerking about how women are the ones targeting them 🙄

I tried to start an all female gaming server recently but of course I got a bunch of responses from men explaining how that's sexist and some other presumably well meaning guys that explained that they are feminists and understand if I don't want men but would be happy to join if I ever wanted additional people. It's hard to explain that messaging in the first place regardless of if they were nice about it is an issue. I said women only and I meant women only. They clearly saw that and still replied. I understand they were polite but that's really not the point.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 10 points 5 days ago

Yep the clue is in the name! Abusive men often see themselves as victims, their idea of being mistreated by a woman is often just "she won't do what I want". It's exhausting