ADHD

10950 readers

22 users here now

A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com

Genuinely unsure how I'm supposed to survive dating. (lemmy.zip)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by WatTyler@lemmy.zip to c/adhd@lemmy.world

27 comments fedilink hide all child comments

CW: suicidal ideation

Firstly, an apology. I've posted here a couple of times during low moments and then never followed up. Received a lot of helpful and sympathetic comments each time and it's kinda shitty I've never even updated my original posts about things being better (because they are).

Onto the meat. Between a couple of long-term relationships and long periods of not really looking for a partner, I hadn't realised I'd managed to get to my late 20s without ever having to 'date'. Both my serious relationships were friends that progressed onto the next level.

Emotionally, this stuff is devastating. Matching with someone who seems interesting and attractive, and they cannot/will not genuinely engage in conversation. Having an amazing conversation with someone in an evening, and then nothing ever again.

Worst are all the feelings associated with RSD when you're not sure there's even a problem. But you are certain there's an issue. How'd you explain that to anyone? How'd you explain that to them?

Idk why I'm posting this rant. I'm sorry for disturbing you all. I don't even want someone to tell me I'm wrong or right or anything else. Selfishly, all I want is for someone to tell me:

'Yeah, no, you're right there's something wrong with you in particular. You really will never be happy and you're right, you shouldn't be here. No, you're absolutely right, there's an unplacable ugliness to you that you can't fix and everyone will always notice.'

I don't know what I'd do if someone confirmed all my worst fears but I think it'd make me feel better? Like things made sense? Like I was correct about something for once.

Sorry again.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] WatTyler@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thanks for the words of support. Genuinely happy things have gotten better for you. In many ways, they've also been getting better for me.

In other replies I've approached why I want to 'date' rather than evolve but maybe it's just a case of it's yet another thing I can't/shouldn't do.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I wouldnt say it's something you can't or even shouldn't do. But if it's making you feel bad, take a step back and ask yourself why it makes you feel that way. Keep in mind, people with ADHD often have issues with low self-esteem. That goes double if you've had an kind of trauma. You should be kinder to yourself about these feelings you are having.