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I got more than I bargained for, how do I fix? TW: suicide (lemm.ee)

submitted 10 hours ago by throwawaysalami@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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There is this girl I have been talking to for a time. I like her, and we also share some common ground. Recently she told how she is struggling very much with anxiety.

She's worried people dislike her, worried about people only pretending to be her friend, people slowly losing interest. She is without exaggeration suicidal about it. More over I overheard her saying she hates people who are only interest in sex.

And here is the damned kicker, I am only interest in having sex with her. Normally when people talk about how they dislike people only interested in sex, I take that as my cue to leave. It's totally fine they feel this way, but it also means we're not compatible. However seeing how this girl is damn near suicidal about people pretending to like her, I'm not sure what to do.

If she's not into one night stands that's fine but that does mean I'm walking (I'm also not interested in any friendship). But I don't want her to kill herself over it either.

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[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

At the end of the day, you're either going to sacrifice yourself for her happiness or you won't. And to be honest it's much more likely you won't and shouldn't; if you try you'd both be miserable. Whether or not she does it is entirely outside your control - even if she actively blames you, it's her choice to make.

The most important thing is to be kind; I think you have to tailor that to the person so I don't know if I can help with the phrasing, but maybe along the lines of how you have to work on yourself.

Also remember to leave if it starts to go circular.

I've said what I felt I needed to say, and I'm not sure further discussion will be productive

sort of thing. I'm sorry you're in this spot bud, it's a tough one, but no matter what happens it's not your fault.