this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
369 points (97.2% liked)

Not The Onion

16253 readers
409 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 49 points 2 days ago (3 children)

It'll be funny and poetic until we all get to watch a contestant die for the first time during a prime time live event .... and the crowd roars and the ratings go through the roof as everyone realizes ... the gladiatorial games to the death have returned .... and this time we can stream it!!!!

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Bread and circuses.

The United States is dying

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why does my bread keep going up in price then?

[–] cyphear@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

If bread's too expensive you can always eat cake.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Trumpflix, but that show is pay per view with the premium plus $199 a month plan. $399 pay per view of course.

[–] MisterD@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago

The other show available is a live feed of the torture at gitmo and El Salvador

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I'd pirate it and not watch it just on principle

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

We have the Millionaire CTE Scramble already.

You know. Football. Handegg.