this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Those who've ever cohabited, how have chores been shared? (lemmy.world)
submitted 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) by LadyButterfly@lemmy.world to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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Women still do the bulk of household chores, management, raising kids and the mental load of it all. When cohabiting, how have you shared them, and how did it effect you?

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[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Before cohabitation I always have a conversation about our living together social contract. What are you willing to take responsibility for?

The last relationship I was in started out with a partner who split things evenly and turned into learned helplessness on his part. It was awful. He did nothing at the end.

The guy I'm with now comes from a relationship where his partner did nothing. We occasionally discuss who should do what, and then get mad at each other because the other person wants to take on too much.

[–] foxglove@lazysoci.al 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

it's amazing to me how many people rush into having children and getting married (let alone just living together) without basic conversations or logistics being figured out ...

Like, it seems so reasonable to sit down and have a conversation - like you say, hashing out a social contract of living together. It builds consent, avoids resentment, creates fairness, deepens trust and reliability ... it just feels like the bare minimum to make a relationship work, to be honest.