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How do I politely turn down a teenage girl? (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 days ago by poisonapple@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

48 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(Yes, I’m aware of these bait-y titles.)

Anyway, I’m 23 years old. I live in my house with my wife. We have many teens in the neighborhood, which is good for my sister-in-law but one of them took a particular liking to me.

The girl and I just casually started talking when I would go for walks, for example. She then started acting really weird, like giggly or flushed. She told me she was bi but preferred women. I’m a lesbian.

Eventually, she confessed that she had feelings for me, though she knew I couldn’t return them. She has also told her friend (19F) that we are dating, when I told her this was not the case and I was married.

I am married and do not like this fourteen-year-old girl. How do I be respectful about not returning her feelings even if she knows I’m married?

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[–] shaggyb@lemmy.world 50 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In this order:

Tell other adults you trust about the situation. Your wife. Her parents if possible. More than one other person.
Explain to her in very clear terms that you can't have that kind of relationship. It's not about what anybody feels, it's about what is possible.
At the FIRST sign of any type of revenge seeking behavior, that's when you consider the authorities and rely on backup from the adults you spoke to.

She very well might listen to you, process the rejection for what it is, and move on. Or she might flip out and cause you a mess. If she handles it well, she's learned something and you've treated a growing human with respect. If she doesn't, your ass is covered.

[–] vfreire85@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

i'd say that it would be the case of turning her down with her parents present as in some sort of intervention.

also, speak to her firmly, avoiding second interpretations, that the two of you cannot be involved in any way, and if she continues her behaviour she will face legal consequences. time to learn that if you f*ck around, you'll find out.