Sometimes the "love" a parent feels for their child is because they view their child as an extension of themselves. This is why they get really upset if their child ever says or does something they wouldn't. Also, not taking accountability for their own behavior and pushing the burden of the consequences onto their children is a form of exploitation, emotional neglect, and abusive. These behaviors are characteristic of emotionally immature parents. I can relate to your experiences, unfortunately for the both of us. I highly recommend "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson to make sense of a lot of nonsense that some parents do like what you described.