this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I've been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just "get over it". I've lost almost everyone I'm close to because of this and I'm starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it's unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

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[–] goodwipe@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Hey dude, it sucks to be in your position now. Divorce is hard. You feel all alone and it seems the rest of the world just keep moving forward when all you really want is to stop and tend to this big wound that opened up.

People don't want to stop and see this wound you're dealing with because it makes them uncomfortable. I've experienced that the only ones who can empathize are the ones that have gone through something painful such as divorce, or losing a loved one.

I can't say if your existing friends were good/bad, but maybe you guys weren't close to begin with. I lost my "friends" during my divorce, some of it was me culling people out of my life because I realized they were just "fair weather" friends. I also realized that I wasn't a good friend to them either. New friends I made afterwards were closer because i shared my story with them and they accepted me. That's also why I made more friends with older single people, male and females, those who had seen some shit.

I got close with my siblings finally, which was amazing, I told them how I had suicidal tendencies or thoughts too. My family got super worried, but my brother's got close and checked in on me more. I made time for them too.

I know a message from an internet stranger may not mean much, but I wish you strength and kindness as you slog your way through to finding yourself again. You know that child that's deep down? That person that enjoyed doing whatever activity and got tremendous joy out of it? That guy. If you can, please look after that 12 year old version in your soul (hopefully that makes some sense).

May you be well.

Edit: spacing