cats

Man, it got so crazy at the end it was unfuckingbelievable.

She went around telling people I beat and raped her, all kinds of things.

If there wasn’t something wrong with my brain I’d be terrified to ever do it again.

It caused me to seriously believe that any long lasting relationship only lasts because one of the two always has their head in the sand.

Even after all of that, I’m still who I always was. I do not spy on my wife, I respect her privacy. I never even have the desire to go digging.

I can’t help but wonder though, if I did would everything come crashing down.

As long as she’s smart enough to keep it from being blatant, I’ll never know. That’s how my ex got away with so much chaos over the years. I never once looked. She got too confident with one though, either confident or impatient. She slipped up and told easily verifiable lies. “I’m house sitting for my sister.” The only time she was ever asked to do that. Didn’t make sense. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just watching Shameless on Netflix and I keep falling asleep.” Nothing had been played for days on Netflix.

When I caught her red handed with a guy, she told me to my face that he was a gay friend of her sister. He couldn’t even look at me. She said the car he was driving was her sister’s car. Same color, different make and model, tags from another state.

And my god, the people all around me who knew, smiled and waved, and never said a word.

It just blows my mind. It really does.

I have no idea how I managed to trust anyone enough to ever do this again.