this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
787 points (98.4% liked)

Greentext

6662 readers
922 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip 101 points 2 weeks ago (22 children)

I was literally in tears while reading this holy shit. It makes me think of the sugar free gummy bear story 😭

[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] shaquilleoatmeal@lemm.ee 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Haribo released some sugar free gummy bears, and apparently the artificial sweetener they used to make them wreaks havoc on most people’s digestion. The Amazon listing was filled with reviews graphically detailing the effects.

I think this is the most famous.

They have apparently changed the recipe since then.

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Apparently some artificial sweeteners can act as a laxative. So effectively, those gummy bears were strong laxatives, leading to anybody who eats one to have to spend a long time on the toilet.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The artificial sweetener in question is maltitol.

Also, under no circumstances should you ever use it to make jello shots and give them to your asshole neighbor for the party they're about to host

[–] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

it was actually head on

No, maltitol is the one that gives everyone the immediate shits.

Personally, I use erythritol as a sugar replacer. While it can cause some bowel activity in large amounts, it takes a few hours to kick in and is more akin to eating a bunch of fiber

[–] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not one, but a full bag of them.

Not a full bag, just a few gummy bears. Maltitol is not to be trifled with

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

Search for "Sugar free gummy bears review". There are a TON of super funny stories out there. All of them meme worthy

[–] Azteh@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Azteh@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

It was a funnyjunk user who ate a whole bag of sugar free gummy bears and showed what the aftermath was of that decision

load more comments (17 replies)