this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2025
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[โ€“] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] P00ptart@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

"hey buddy, you know how you're the president of a country here, right?"

"Yes I'm the most beautiful, fluctuant, prescient president of all time, so says the people. I don't know if it's true, but that's what people are saying"

"Uh... Ok? Anyways, how would you like to be president of a whole fucking planet?!?"

"This is what the world needs, a leader to take it into dysplasia. Who else could do it but me? This new one world government and state will need a name. Well call it fantasia, and it will be wonderful."

"Sure, sure, fantasia sounds beautiful. We've already built you the thrown right here. Strap in, your sovereignty"

"I'm going to turn this wasteland, into, you know, a utopia for all rich white Americans"

"Uh huh" tightens seat harness "you snug Mr. President?"

"Well I think you're a loser because this is too tight. You're fired, get me someone who can make this right."

"Oh I am making it right, sir, just give me a second, I apologize." Leaves capsule

[Starship explosion noises]

"Fackin whoops"