this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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Garth Brooks was my personal Jesus (aside from Jesus) as a southern tween/teen, but I still have several bones to pick with him, among them Chris Gaines/The Lamb and a particular Walmart-exclusive concert at which I was the only attendee in my little town, making me feel even more like a total ass. Oh, and this. Yeeeeeah. But deep down I'm still pretty sure I'm gonna be in his band one day. And then usurp him as the new Garth.
...so, like, it was a walmart-exclusive live television broadcast?..was there a live audience at the perfromance or was he just playing to an empty studio?..how'd that work, like, did they set up chairs in front of a special big-screen at each location or did you just stand around the electronics department for two hours?..
...garth brooks reminds me a lot of taylor swift; totally not my jam but you do you...
YEP! I planned around it and my parents agreed to take me. I approached the electronics department of my then-local Columbus, GA Walmart Supercenter expecting a hoppin' soiree. This is Garth. He doesn't do anything small. HERE. WE. GO! Instead, it was just me. Standing in the electronics department. At Walmart. Watching the "concert" on the wall of TVs.
I DEFENDED THAT MAN TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY when he pulled his Chris Gaines/The Lamb schizophrenic breakdown bullshit. He put me in the position of defending the indefensible. "Oh, no, you don't understand, it'll all make more sense when The Lamb comes out!" WHERE'S THE FUCKING LAMB, GARTH!?
...hah!..well that kind of superfandom commands my respect even if the material doesn't earn it: dorks dorking-out over dorky things are always cool in my opinion...