me_irl

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me_irl (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by zedgeist@lemmy.world to c/me_irl@lemmy.world

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[–] Jiggs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Often encounters men opening up about nobody listening to them when they open up.

Proceeds not to listen, mock them and blame it on them.

Sure is strange, why this trend continues, right?

[+] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org -11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Trend" would imply that it's ever been different. Also my intention wasn't to mock anyone. I'm just saying I'm 100% convinced it's not gonna change so the best approach is to adapt. I would tell women the same thing.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would tell women the same thing.

Then you would be scolded for trying to fix the problem instead of just listening.

Men are frustrated because of a common double standard.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org -2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Men are frustrated because of a common double standard.

I fully acknowledge that there's a double standard. But at the same time I think it would be short sighted to draw the conclusion that women have it easier. It's different, yes. But there's other issues associated with being labeled as "more emotional".

But my main point is that being frustrated about how society works instead of either taking action (like joining a free support group that meets irl or via zoom, seeking therapy, team sport or whatever else) or even just accepting that things work the way they do has never done anything except make the person who dwells on it even sadder.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

But at the same time I think it would be short sighted to draw the conclusion that women have it easier.

I never said that and didn't see any comments like that at the time I commented.

But good job swooping into a discussion about men's challenges and making it about women!

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org -3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm not trying to make it about women. I'm a guy myself btw. To me the frustration with that double standard kinda implied the feeling of having it harder. Thinking about it it probably doesn't. It wasnt malice, I genuinely have a hard time understanding this mindset.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I'm curious how an individual is supposed to make things better by slamming their head against a double standard. The frustration comes from attempting something and being repeatedly shut down.

From personal experience, speaking with a therapist doesn't keep people in general from negatively reacting to me trying to solicit support. "Don't be frustrated" isn't a solution. Best case is coming to grips with a shitty double standard, which helps people who are actually self destructive because of it, sure.

But a lot of us are just sick of it and want to have the existence ofnthe double standard acknowledged without being told how women have it worse. Both (all) genders suffer from double standards!