this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2025
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While I agree that feeling EMASCULATED by a vibrator is ridiculous, as men are not meant to have vibrating functionality, I think just as many women would feel just as bummed out by it if men did a similar thing. Imagine if a man only got like half of the way there fucking you, then pulled out and was like "oh quick get that super tight fleshlight out so I can cum". Is it really so hard to understand why that might feel bad? Like sure, this fleshlight thing may be tighter than any biological vagina ever could be, but does that really make it not bother you? And even if it doesn't bother you, wouldn't it be nice if that wasn't always necessary?
Because although penises aren't meant to vibrate, and vaginas aren't meant to squeeze like a tight fist, penises ARE "supposed" to please vaginas and vice versa, and if the literal climax of pleasure is not attainable by those means, why are we acting like that's a silly thing to wish was different?
Don't all people, regardless of their own sex or gender, or the gender of their partner, enjoy the idea of bringing their partner to orgasm using their own body and not a device? I have made my girlfriend orgasm manually, orally, penetratively, and with vibrators. They're all fun ways to do it! But if we could only do it with a vibrator, I'd certainly be wishing we could get there other ways too. Is that really so silly? Each method has its own charms. So it seems very insensitive to put down these feelings, and it's also gross to do it with a sports metaphor.
The reality is that it is generally harder for people with a vagina to achieve orgasm than for those with a penis. There are very much evolutionary reasons for that and... let's not talk about that because it is dark as fuck.
In a perfect world? Two (or more) partners will always climax at the same time and everything will be wonderful. But that just isn't reasonable. Maybe its been a while and one partner finishes faster. Maybe its stressful at work and you thought it would work but it just isn't. And maybe you just kind of want the borderline sensory overload that sex toys tend to be capable of.
The reality is that partners should work towards making sure everyone orgasms as much as they want to. If that involves external stimulation with a vibrator while you have vaginal sex? Go for it. If that involves finishing someone off with a handy? Go for it. And so forth.
And if you feel that not being able to make your partner cum the way you want to is a problem? Grow the fuck up. Everyone is different and everyone responds to some stimuli better than others and that can change from week to week. If your partner really likes a vibrator? Awesome, work with that. Integrate it into the fun. Rather than get angry that they don't want you to fingerbang them instead.
I really don't think it it is harder for vagina owners to achieve orgasm.
I think it's just that nobody has any fucking idea how they work. Including many of the people that have them.
It's dead easy if you take the time to learn.
I agree although I have a sample size of 1 so I dont like to generalize.
Mine is significantly larger.