this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2025
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Meh, there’s enough of a biological drive to have children there’s no need to pressure people into it socially. It’s condescending to assume someone else will follow your same “growth” trajectory.
evolution has given us a drive to have sex sure enough.
but my impression is that there's not a lot of biological drive to have children per se, as shown by a lack of children the moment that women can actually decide whether to have them.
Some of my women friends have shared that they definitely felt a need/pang/drive to have kids. Not all of them listened based on the other things they decided to do with their lives or their bodies' ability, but it doesn't mean the feeling isn't there. I wouldn't conclude from my anecdotal information that that drive extends to all women, but I would guess that many women feel it given how prevalent the discussion is.
The choice of whether to have kids at all is important, but doesn't rule out the presence of some evolutionary biological drive. Although, it's possible it's not some genetic instinct and is instead some cultural thing that becomes more powerful during certain hormonal shifts that occur across a woman's life cycle. I've never studied such things, but I'm open to different possibilities.
I'm not sure it would only apply to women. Never had much of a parental drive myself but I met several men, both friends and partners, who wanted children very much.
Maybe it's different somehow, I wouldn't know, but something's definitely there.
True. I didn't have that drive, but my wife did. I'm very happy I have children, but I didn't feel compelled.
It’s probably difficult to prove that it’s genetic but at least anecdotally the biological clock is a thing.
And there are societies that exist today with relatively young first birth ages. But this is impossible to determine how much genetics vs culture contribute.
Often it's more about validating your own situation unfortunately
Oh I accept that it feels like a very normal thing to say. It’s just that we should avoid acting upon them.