this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
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The werewolf I understand entirely. They’re both awkward, horny kids trying to find their place. The century old vampire creeping on a teenager is where it gets weird.
The werewolf "imprints" on Bella's unborn vampire baby later in the series, so fortunately the scales of creepiness end up balanced between Team Edward and Team Jacob.
She didn't know how else to resolve the local wolf/vampire conflict so she could escalate the threat level to the euro trash vampires.
Casually outting yourself as having read the books.
All of them, sadly. Didn't watch the movies though, I can't re-live the trauma.
Me too, buddy. Me too.
I read them alongside a friend and met up for coffee to discuss after; we devoured them as they came out and about ¾ of the way through the final book we both just said "What the fuck are we reading?"
Stephanie Meyer knows how to make you turn pages.
What's the problem with that? I would assume most people of tween/teen reading age did in the time they were popular. They were a phenomenon.
Casually outing yourself as hating things teenage girls like.
I was casually outting myself as having read them too lol.
Then no need to feel embarrassed about something you might have enjoyed at the time! :)
We're allowed to like what we like, especially as kids. Give your younger self a break lol
But... my younger self regretted it? Look, okay I hated on Twilight before it was cool. Y'all just copycats. I'm going to my room!
He literally falls in love with a god damn fetus
Yeah, this is the part I can't get past. WTF is Edward doing creeping around underage girls all the time?
I always assumed vampires are sort of stuck their age mentally as well, for the most part. They can get more wisdom and knowledge but emotionally and sexually they're whatever age they got turned in. So a 200 year old vampire that got turned at 17 is basically a 17 year old in that way.
Sounds like something a vampire pedo would say.
Hey now! That's actually hebophilia. Thank you very much.
/s
More like haemophilia if you ask me
So where does that leave 2000 year old vampire lolis?
Dead because in twilight the Volturi kill child vampires.
I suppose that's why Twilight never had an anime adaptation.
The ones.
That's a pretty good theory. It still skeeves me out though
Tbf when you're a centuries old vampire, everyone's too young for you
Not particularly. If you’ve ever discussed anything of substance with an amateur colleague in your field, you might find novelty in the fresh perspective or even some minor nostalgia. When they meet, Bella is less than a colleague of life. She is a strangely shaped Labrador, which is fitting in that he grooms the shit out of her.
You could at least stick to young adults and older instead of high schoolers
The original "What we do in the shadows" addressed that pretty well, when protagonist started dating his old crush when she's a 70+ year-old woman and has to apologize for being a bit too old for her.
And who would have expected that Jacobs place happened to be in prison, where he should go after falling in love with a literal newborn
it's not his FAULT your honor he couldn't HELP but form a love bond with an unborn vampire baby your honor you'd understand if you were a werewolf your honor