this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
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Your way of doing things is now how things must be done. Extra points for petty and minor stuff.

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[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 5 points 6 hours ago
  1. Anything more than hushed conversation is banned on public transit (exceptions for children too little to be able to control it, developmentally disabled, etc.). You may answer the phone, quietly, to tell the person you cannot talk right this second and will phone them back from the next station
  2. Everywhere is accessible to the blind, those in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc.
  3. You will grow some of your own food as your space allows. If you have a tiny flat with one window? Grow some herbs or chives or something? Gotta big lawn? Now you have a garden. Those with small children will be left some room for them to play.
  4. Everyone wanting a driving license must drive a giant, slow truck and a small motorbike for several weeks. The tests everywhere in the US get harder and more demanding.
  5. You must use public transport in any case it is possible and practical (i.e I don't expect you to try to take your haul from Ikea back on a train).
  6. You will generally only eat two meals a day and no more gluten (sorry; I didn't want to inflict this on you nor did I want the gluten restriction on myself, but this is the only way my body works somewhat properly).
  7. Your mind's eye and any audible inner monologue are now gone. It's fine; enjoy the imagination and peace.
  8. You must live somewhere on roughly the other side of the planet from where you grew up (again, sorry to force you)
  9. You must live in at least one foreign country for no less than 3 months outside of a foreigner community and learn the language and culture (not at all sorry about this one).
  10. You must be in pain a lot of the time without docs being able to find anything useful. You must also have anxiety, ADHD, probable ASD, and overthink many things.

I tried to answer the actual question rather than how I think things should be. I'm sure I'm missing something about my life. I guess you'd all have to work as software engineers who run a small farm most of the year, strictly speaking.

[–] Don_alForno@feddit.org 4 points 6 hours ago

Fork in the strong hand, knife in the other.

[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

What is everyone doing wrong?

Failing to even try to understand the fact that nuance touches everything in between the margins of the less complicated and oft-overused black-and-white polarization of damn near everything under the sun.

[–] Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

No timezones. Only UTC or Zulu time. Also no daylight savings, it’s just fucking stupid.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

That really kinda shifts a problem. I can generally guess that at 10am whateverTime a business is going to be open or people are going to be awake to time my communications. This adds a step of having to look up ... I guess the current daylight hours and/or normal business hours first? Who would maintain such a database?

[–] VonReposti 3 points 7 hours ago

Same people who's maintaining it today. We need to look up business hours anyway on top of looking up time zones. E.g. business hours in Denmark is usually 8-16 while in UK it is usually 9-17. Here there's furthermore differences at the usual company. IMO you're inconsiderate if you start planning meetings without taking the business hours of the recipients into account (which means all our UK enployess are inconsiderate jerks on this topic, calling me in for meetings until 18:00...)

So instead of looking up the time zone difference and the cultural business hours of a company in Australia, I can just see that they open after my lunch.

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Okay let's say it

Everyone has to work at least a day as a front facing customer service.

ALL public officers elected or not are now chosen by sortition. That's right baby, we are bringing Athenian democracy back. At least for a while

People can now express without fear of offending others as now they have self awareness to know that others can also think different as them (the P zombies will appreciate this one)

FF 20 years

The whole of humanity is now shareholder of a giant corporation managing the full resources of the Earth-Moon system

As a shareholder, everyone is taken care off, and basic needs are always available. You have been now guaranteed your needs for life, opening up for you to enjoy your freedom.

We start developing a solar collector array using Mercury as a resource stockpile

FF 30 years, we have finished the solar array. The Dyson sphere goes online. We spread during the next 6 hours a salvo of about 200 million self replicating probes through the interstellar space of our Galaxy and beyond it

These probes have everything needed to jump start the process again in other solar systems

If we are lucky, we might have our vector states inside those probes so we will have achieved functional immortality

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 hours ago

pulling apart the bacon piece by piece to fry it.

listen, you can just stick the whole brick of it into the pan, the heat from the skillet makes the bacon slices separate. you can cook the whole thing at once.

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Bananas are only be opened from the seed side. Heretics who open the stem side will be mummified in banana strings after being purged so that they will be reminded of their hubris eternally.

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

what about those of us who snap them in half?

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 2 points 7 hours ago

You already know you're a freak. Let that flag fly brother.

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

No one has any pubes any more.

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago

Fucking thank you

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Wrong: cleaning ass only with toiler paper.

Right: Using a bidet after pooping.

Your asses will thank me.

[–] win95@lemmy.zip 3 points 15 hours ago (7 children)
[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Roommates toothbrush.

[–] CosmicCleric@lemmy.world 0 points 8 hours ago

True that. Best to nuke it from orbit, just to be sure.

~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~

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[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I can't say it without getting my comment removed for inciting violence.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Pretty much. Only a more broad scale.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 11 hours ago

I guess everyone is a lefty now.

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