Ask Lemmy

TV series now have 25 episodes a season.

Five season minimum.

All TV series are released on physical disc after one year (the creator of the show can choose a smaller amount of time if they want, but never longer). After one year it MUST BE on disc.

Blu-ray Disc at a minimum. Can choose 4k if the creator of the show wants. Can do both.

Federal penalties if the show is cancelled early.

Next

All devices that require an always on connection, must have a patch to allow the device to work if the server is ever pulled offline.

Subscription based services must provide an actual benefit. Not a “well the company wants more money so they’re just going to create a subscription service”… looking at the companies that make heated steering wheels in cars subscription based.

For close to 20 years now my wife and I have bought twin sized flat sheets and blankets for our king bed. We're both blanket hogs and now we get to be by not sharing. People used to look at us like we were crazy when we mentioned it, but I hear more and more people doing it and even saw and article calling it the "Scandinavian method" or something else pretentious sounding.

We've been doing it so long I feel like we invented it, even though that's a silly idea. But I am half Scandi so, you know, maybe it was named after me.

Stop using toilet paper to wipe your ass. Only water.

Tabs are better than spaces

Education. Critical thinking will now be taught in elementary school. Economics in middle school. And philosophy in high school.

Extra points for petty, minor things.

Fine.
Only using even numbers for volume or brightness. No handshakes (between humans). No unsolicited hugs. No greetings. No Christmas, new years eve, Halloween, birthdays, etc. (only regular days). No loud talking (if any) on public transport. No phone calls or video calls. No purchases of digital goods (be it media or software) that doesn't come on a physical copy. No buying from Nestle. Avoiding supermarket membership "discount" (read: "data collection") programs.

Duodecimal is provably superior, and the world now uses it instead of decimal. This means that the metric system is now base-12, and inches, feet, and yards are the common units.

Surprising to many people, very little else changes.

• Analog clocks stay the same
• There are still 12 months in the year
• Your eggs still come in dozens
• There are still 30 divisions of 12 degrees in a compass.
• There are still 12 face cards in a deck of cards
• Humans still have 12 pairs of ribs
• A bouquet of roses still has 12 flowers
• A box of doughnuts still comes with 12 doughnuts
• Colas still come in half-dozen packs, and boxes of cola still usually come in a dozen.
• Muffin trays still bake 12 muffins
• Packs of toilet tissue are still sold in some multiple of a dozen: ½-dozen, 1 dozen, or 2 dozen.

Meanwhile, everyone learns they can count to 12 on one hand, and to 144 using both hands.

Using comments as an excuse for writing shitty code.

Before pee, you HAVE to rub your hands. I don't have OCD, it's just a thing I have to do so you also have to as well.

The only music that matters is metal and everything else is canceled

Nobody is allowed to say "eepy" anymore.

Everyone drives a car with one fucking seat.

Football is defunded, everyone watches pro wrestling now instead

We're eating nachos with forks

Everyone's self employed and stops complaining about their boss

I'm right-handed when using one handed tools and "left-handed" when using two handed tools like axes and shovels. The hand closer to the tool bit (the left hand in my case) is only there to provide support and slide around as the other hand controls the orientation and motion of the tool.

I declare my way is truly right-handed while these right-hand-in-front-of-the-left-handers are just ambidextrous pretenders

Auto > Light/Dark mode

Smoking joints is now illegal. Everyone must use a battery-free vaporiser.

Car bad.

YYYY/MM/DD or riot. 24H time or public execution.

I use Arch btw

Pirate everything.

Pink lemonade is better than regular.

Ramen is made with the flavour packet first, then boiling the noodles in the already-made broth.

The confirm button on a controller goes on the right. Cancel is bottom. Nintendo layout supremacy, fuck you.

You will pet every dog you see without hesitation, even if they growl at you. The tax must be paid.

Trackpad > Mouse

Caffeine is now illegal. Force yourself to stay awake and make it everyone else's problem for enforcing stupid work hours.