Read the instructions.
Sell it to a space agency that promises it to use it as a wormhole.
It needs to be aimed at our moon (Selene) and an exo-dwarf planet.
this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy
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The good answer is to create some kind of perpetual motion machine.
The cool answer is to create some kind of roller coaster that just keeps going and going
The fun answer is to create some chaos. Put one behind a door or something and the other in some unexpected place.
It would be a bad use of it, but probably pick a random road online and pick a random volcano. Whoever gets unlucky and doesn't notice the nightmare portal in the ground gets a free trip to the base of a volcano at no cost. Would obviously need the portal to be in a location where you cannot just easily return from, though. Gonna turn a random volcano and random street into quite the tourist attraction for no reason.
Put the other portal in a geostationary space station: free access to orbit.
The single most (energy) expensive thing humans do is put things in orbit.
Love the idea, but (spoiler for the end of Portal 2)>!isn't that kind of what Chell did at the end of Portal 2 to defeat GlaDOS? The portal on the Moon causes the portal on Earth to suction everything out into space.!<
Your spoiler tag doesn't work
- But two sheets of plywood
- Portal on each
- ???
- Profit
I mean, genuinely, this would be infinite energy. I was thinking of somehow using magnets and induction to generate power, but it would be excessively high frequency and would be antithetical to multi-phase power.
that looks just like me lol
I'm going to be really sad when I fire my first shot from my single use portal gun only to find out the surface needed to be coated with moon dust.
Put portals on two boards. See what happens if I put one board through the other portal.
Make a drain hole at the bottom of a lake, that comes out above it. Put in a water wheel, free energy.
Never thought about it before, but I guess this makes portal guns impossible, since scenarios like this break conservation of energy.
Maybe conservation of energy is wrong.
Well, the videogame kind are definitely impossible, but if the gravitational field could travel through the portal then it would probably still conserve energy. The gravitational interactions around vertical portals would be exceptionally weird. If they were close enough, you'd probably experience weightlessness while in between them, but I can't wrap my head around what would happen as they move further apart. That makes me hope someone tries to make a mod that models that in Portal...
Maybe entering the portal takes as much energy as it would take to climb the long way? If the other end is on the moon you have to enter at 10km/s or something else you fall right back out. Warning: I am not responsible for damage caused by extreme tidal forces.
But you know itβs possible from firsthand experience. Whomsthβnβt reached terminal velocity by shooting the ceiling & floor and jumping in?
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One on my butt, one in the toilet, never need to poop again!
Bonus points if someone finds the toilet π
I mean you would still need to poop. But you wouldn't have to worry about the time or your situation.
You're pooping on the oval office's desk arent you
One at the white house, one at the sun.
Be carefully secret service is now on to you. Maybe add /s so they know you're joking and not intending any harm to dumb animals there
He meant to say "In portal"
Moon.
How fast would this suck up all of our atmosphere? Hours? Days?
Probably years, if not more. XKCD's "What If?" has a nice explanation on a similar question, but in that case it was a portal at the bottom of the mariana trench and the question was about draining the oceans. The answer is that you probably wouldn't notice in all your lifetime.
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I would make one portal in Tokyo or some busy city and other in another busy city and i will sell tickets to ride between the two. Or i will put them on some sheet of something that i can move so i can change destinations but in game if i move the surface under portal it will dissapear
I will nationalize your service for free to everyone
Iβve always wanted to fuck my own ass.
Won't work, as you thrust your ass will pull away. Only way I could think of is having the portals on platforms that would move with you.
I appreciate your in depth analysis of this situation.
Uhh huh huh... you said depth.
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Like, I can only shoot two portals ever? Single-use would imply only being able to shoot one portal, but that doesn't seem very useful.
Also wasn't portal travel hella toxic? To the point that it killed Cave Johnson? I sure as hell won't be using it to save time on my commute or anything.
I think I'd have to use it for violence, like sending a war criminal off a large building, but you couldn't even really have fun with it. Everyone fantasizes about launching a billionaire straight into space, but you'd need multiple portals to get them into a situation where they're building momentum first.
Also, if there's no material emancipation grids, are the portals just there forever? The portal gun doesn't have an off switch or a way to deactivate existing portals.
Portal travel isn't toxic. However, ground up moon rocks, which are an almost perfect portal conductor, are very bad for you.
"The bean counters told me we literally didn't have $7 to buy moon rocks with, let alone $70 million. Bought 'em anyway! Ground them up, mixed them into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison!"
I'm deathly ill.
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