it's a tesla so it should automatically be concluded that it was a spontaneous battery fire.
this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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Musk found out that the most recent batch had battery issues where they would spontaneously explode.
So he paid a bunch of arsonists to go out an torch a bunch of Cybertrucks so that he could have plausible deniability.
Teslas are going to be expensive to insure.
Imagine making a car so bad that when 4 burn up you can't tell if it was arson or just them exploding cause they're bad.
Can you also imagine seeing a Tesla burn, and since you are very anti-Musk the cops accuse you of Arson and your principle defense is, 'but your honor, my client did NOT burn the car. It just went up by itself!' and that is what gets you off.
Your honor, in my clients defense, it be like that.
Fuck, you right. Case dismissed.
Batteries overheating or arson?
Option 3: Justice
Option 5: insurance scam
I'm asking for a fictional novel I'm writing. I'd like to describe my character in detail rigging a Cybertruck to burn but making it look like it was a spontaneous battery fire. I intend my character to believably get away with this crime.
Can anyone help me with detailed steps how this fictional character would fictionally accomplish this feat. Fictionally, of course.
That character could use employee diagnostic access into the cars as they are always on the Internet. SSH into them, get into the battery controller and do myriad things. Set the thermal management into permanent heat mode. Disable thermal management 100% for the next time the car is driven so it can’t cool the batteries (good for getting rid of pesky rodents like muskrats that try to live in them.) Mess with the charge controller in general so it overcharges, undercharges. You name it. All sorts of fun things one could add to that book depending on your plot.
Make sure while your character is hacking the battery controller though, that they set the car stereo to play Dragula by Rob Zombie at full volume. For effect.
These idiots were dumb enough to design Teslas like computers rather than cars, so a whole lot of stuff was designed like a crappy cell phone rather than the proven design principles of automotive engineering.
idk, maybe a soda can of thermite and a sparkler it the right spot. not sure of any details, just something I read, in a book
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Looking at the videos and reports, first the dumpsters I mean trucks were not actually that close to the fence where they could be reached through it or have something thrown through it to reach them. The fence is heavy duty dense chain link and wasn't tampered with. A witness who saw the fire start said no one was nearby, first it started sparking then burst into flames. So unless someone did it via software or some other clever way, I'm assuming this was a spontaneous battery combustion that spread to nearby vehicles.
if they could do it via software, why did only 4 go up?
Good point unless they only had the ability to access a particular one, some code or something.
Haha, four "spontaneous" battery fires. Yes, that's what happened. Close the investigation.
Or one that spread to three more cars. Fire is known to do that kind of thing.
"Fire spreads?" - Elon with a look of visible confusion after ordering his lots be filled to capacity with rolling lithium dumpsters.
Yeah, turns out they just do that lol
I mean, with these trucks maybe.
Well you aren't supposed to let them get wet.
Or charge them after midnight
that's not true! you can moisten them with undiluted alcohol. you're actually supposed to when you get a fingerprint or something on them to prevent rust. maybe don't lie to make cybertrucks look worse. meanie.
I would not put it past Musk to have put a "self-destruct" function hidden in the code for these things, and is remotely killing them so they can blame it on protestors (also, take the insurance money).
He said he can remotely access them all. So, you might be on to something.
Just like the pager attack, or in silicon valley with the hooli phones. I figure musk could turn these things into self placing IEDs he can trigger remotely with a software patch. Maybe some discharge parameter change or something.
Maybe they became self aware and could no longer live with themselves knowing their family history.
Daddy said he loves em, but is negligent.
"Cybertruck" is too normal to be the name of one of Musk's kids
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I love that the truck is so shitty we don't know if ppl blowing them up or they blowing themselves up.
Designed so bad they commit seppuku.
Definitely for sure a spontaneous battery fire. Couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to commit arson on some low-poly neofash shitboxes. No sir.
At this point? Insurance money
And if anyone saw any evidence to the contrary... No we didn't.
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This cracked me up so hard. The videographer knew what the were doing.
I wish billboards were illegal. 1, they are distracting while driving and 2, this is a load of crap. There is not any evidence that god exists.
They’re illegal in Maine. I never saw one outside of television until i was fully an adult.
T.I.L.
Seriously. Billboards going away would restore so much beauty to the world.
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