this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2025
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"Canadians may have gone in for wokeness in recent years, it is true, but there is the matter of their bloody-minded DNA. It was not that long ago that they harvested baby seals—the ones with the big, sad, adorable brown eyes—with short iron clubs. They love hockey, a sport that would have pleased the emperors and blood-crazed plebeians and patricians of ancient Rome if they could only have figured out how to build an ice rink in the Colosseum." 😅

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[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Regardless of bloody dna or not, as an American, why the fuck would anybody want to invade Canada?

To me, it (yes I'm unfortunately very aware of current American politics and the rise of fascism) sounds the same as "let's invade Mexico" or "let's invade Britain". Like, bruh, if the us formally invades anybody rn, the country will shut down like a toddler that you're trying to make skip naptime. We're on the fucking brink of a civil war, the only things from us that you should be considering is how to integrate cascadia into your country and how to arm us against that ratshit for brains, trump and his billionaire autistic nazi musketeer, musk.

[–] Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

why the fuck would anybody want to invade Canada

They have a huge amount of accessible oil, and the north sea trade routes are going to become incredibly important in the coming years as the ice melts further.

[–] thijsje@social.vivaldi.net 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 7 hours ago

Right now, the people that voted for him that are bent over, lubed up, and spreading their cheeks are starting to wonder if it was the right move. The blue states where everybody either wishes he'd be ended or are making up reasons why it'd be worse for him to be a martyr... We still have our rights because our states are cool... For now.

So, depending on how the red states take being ultra fucked and if trump tries to waggle his weird tiny rapist weiner over at our rights and systems here in blue states, could result in(tw rape):

  1. raping the red states and them liking it, and not touching blue states: no civil war.
  2. raping the red states and them liking it, and then coming for the blue states: possible civil war.
  3. raping the red states and them not liking it, and not touching the blue states: no civil war.
  4. raping the red states and them not liking it, and then coming for blue states: no civil war.

But since Trump is a true fascist and either a Nazi sympathizer or an outright Nazi, and so are a good portion of the red states' populations, it's kind've all up in the air right now. Which is why I said we're on the brink of one. Is Trump going to end up dead? Yes. Very high chance. Everybody around the world is hoping for it.

Now, is ww3 or a us civil war more likely to happen?

Well, right now, trump has invited his friends over and red is hogtied and having second thoughts. Blue is stuck in the room but doesn't want anything to do with him since we're pretty self sustaining in most regards, but unfortunately we still currently operate under the systems that trump has taken over.

Honestly, it's more likely that he continues to rape red, and then somebody else takes over while we're dealing with the bullshit for the next 50 years. Which is why I say we leave red with trump by forming cascadia, possibly join Canada, lead a sociopolitical insurgency against the then neutered usa, execute the traitors to human morality, and then not let shit like this happen again by not allowing the south to do whatever it wants with education and voting by having a true democracy but having standardized education and firing those who don't teach the proper curriculum.

Because teaching insane stuff like "religion" (religions are blatantly cults) in schools and "evolution is just a theory" is so bad for children that it's child abuse on par with anti-vaxxing. Rotting children's brains with delusions like "gay people are evil" or "trans people don't exist" is liked the equivalent of training cock fighting but in humans by psychological terror, and should be treated as such.

I'm all for allowing other worldviews to exist, but at this point, human religion is so far past being proven as absolute belligerent bullshit that I cannot in good faith allow it to exist. Peaceful people of religion are everywhere, but they are exceptions to the rule that religion is built to be hostile to other world views, and will all eventually vey for power and dominance. Fuck. Anti-birth control, family worldview inheritance, patriarchal structures, proselytizing? Secret organizations with heiarchy interpretation of the will of their leader? Come ON.

One of these world views is going to end up dominant, and regardless of how far into space humanity goes before dying, any existing religion made up by crackpot old fools trying to come up with grassroots power structures "for the people" IS NOT IT. And we see how much tension, pain, strife, and retardation of society occurs when religion is applied. Fascism is not it, religion is not it, dictatorship is not it.... We've got to keep on progressing, but in order to do so, we gotta pull the slowest parts of humanity with us, the ones dragging their feet and kicking and screaming. We need to feed them and take them outside to touch grass so they stop abusing their children in ad nauseum so that they can grow up to be healthy, supportive parents, strong enough to foster healthy happy children.

We are only mortal for now, so are we're stuck in this cycle. Can we at least make it not trash and strive for something better? I'm tired of reading posts by young queer teens in other countries who are terrified of their parents after coming out to them. I never, ever see follow up posts, and can only hope they all made it to the point where they can be accepted and loved by their families and communities, but we all know that isn't the case.

Listen. This post was originally just going to be "is civil war going to happen". But, in reality, there's so, so much more going on. For the wives, husbands, daughters, sons, young people, old people, people that don't want to have anything to do with politics, and those that do. We're all stuck here together, as neighbors and as associates, and I can only tell you how I see the world.

I see a lot of intelligent people, each with their own world views, all clashing, avoiding, and trying to assert power over their own fears. You all live in my head as opposing ideas, some worth more than others, some being completely useless. A lot of you will die. I will die before a lot of you, and none of this matters on the universe scale.

But my ideal is that we can grow our understanding of each other and get past these growing pains in the right way. That's the only way humanity is going to make it. You have to remember the past and learn from it so that you can keep going into the future, learning and developing and trying new things. If you don't remember and learn from the past, you're doomed to repeat it. That, we know is true.

So... Is civil war that likely?

I'm here right now, too; fuck if I know, I'm only human.

The planet will likely live on, long after we're gone, and that makes me feel a little better... I guess.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 8 points 22 hours ago

We're on the fucking brink of a civil war

That's the key point: they want to provide a common enemy so it's America vs "whoever" instead of the class war that should be happening.

[–] Devanismyname@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I like the rhetoric, but the reality is we don't stand a fucking chance. It'll end up turning into an insurgency, not a stand up fight. Our military will crumble instantly, it'll be an occupation, and we'll be the next taliban.

[–] rozcakj@lemmy.ca 5 points 19 hours ago

True - that's what our CAF should be planning for. Take the Swiss model and encourage serving members to take their equipment home, including secure communications devices. Then plan for insurgency tactics, training and organizing volunteers and conducting raids and attacks deep into our "glorious, the 'greatest'" new homeland...

[–] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (5 children)

We'd definitely lose on our own, but we're part of NATO. If the US invades Canada, every other NATO member would come to our defense.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca -1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Greece and Turkey have fights occasionally. NATO doesn't care. Mark Rutte smiled at invasion threat of Greenland, saying it is not a NATO matter.

[–] Mossheart@lemmy.ca 4 points 19 hours ago

Maybe. We hope.

Europe has their hands full at the moment with Ukraine.

[–] Devanismyname@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bit different in this scenario. Not only would the idea of fighting the most powerful military on earth cause hesitation, but they'd be doing it from across the ocean where the us would no doubt have their navy stationed with nuclear submarines, destroyers, and air craft carriers. That, and if Russia is going to become more aggressive, which Trump is obviously empowering him to do, Europe needs to worry about itself. We are right next to them as well meaning they would be able to take us with almost no trouble. So nato would now have to conquer the us not just defend against it. Also, nato has never been tested in a situation like this. We don't know if the alliance would just fall apart or something. As a Canadian, I'm not really counting on them too much since the idea of them actually successfully protecting us seems completely out to lunch. I'm thinking nato falls apart once the us leaves it and is replaced by a more European oriented military alliance.

[–] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I don't like unrealistic optimism, but I think there are several reasons to be optimistic. TL;DR: enough US citizens would revolt to make it a winnable war against them, and Trump would back down first.

Not only would the idea of fighting the most powerful military on earth cause hesitation, but they’d be doing it from across the ocean where the us would no doubt have their navy stationed with nuclear submarines, destroyers, and air craft carriers.

That's if everyone in the US military complies with the order, and I think a lot of people would refuse. I also think a lot of citizens would start fighting their own military. It only takes 3.5% of people fighting from within an institution to destabilize the whole thing.

I've continually been surprised at what MAGAs are willing to believe (and then stop believing) and I'm sure that a lot them would buy into the new narrative, but it would be such a blatant and self-destructive abuse of power that a non-insignificant number of them would have to wake up. There are also so many individual actors in right-wing media that a few of them are bound to speak out before they get shut down. Just imagine if someone like Tucker Carlson did a 5 minute address saying "I've supported everything Trump does but this crosses the line."

if Russia is going to become more aggressive, which Trump is obviously empowering him to do, Europe needs to worry about itself.

Other countries have a self-interest in keeping foreign dictators in check; while it's true that fighting the US would make other NATO members more vulnerable to an attack from Russia, the alternative of letting Trump literally go insane with power would be more likely to end in a nuclear apocalypse.

We are right next to them as well meaning they would be able to take us with almost no trouble. So nato would now have to conquer the us not just defend against it.

If the US decides to Blitzkrieg us, yes--at first. As someone who lives within a 1h drive of the US border, I'd be fucked, but the US wouldn't be able to keep that territory; see all the above points. I also think Trump would start a military war in the same way that he started an economic war: announce that he's going to do it, get an unexpectedly strong announced retaliation from Canada and blowback from within his party, delay the implementation, and finally reduce the scope. During that time Canada and NATO would be able to prepare.

[–] Devanismyname@lemmy.ca 3 points 22 hours ago

I mean all of this is definitely reason to be optimistic. Good perspective to have. Hopefully it's your version and not mine.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I wish I had your faith.

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[–] averyrandomusername@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There are way too many people talking about hypotheticals and trying to do "logical" thinking why attacking allies is a bad idea.

The powers in the USA are NOT LOGICAL. They are cutting social systems, they are tanking their stock market, causing irreparable harm to their economy, and military industrial system.

Talking about it like its "logical", and coming from the USA where their media, the people that are supposed to know what's going on and communicating it to the USA public is idiotic. They don't even have the common curtesy to make sure that they have the corret titles and honorifics when talking to our leaders.

Governor Carney Prime Minster Ford Prime Minsiter Jolie

Fuck them all.

[–] pika@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is what is so terrifying and makes this very real. They don’t care about logic, at least not what we think as logic.

However, I would argue that it is fairly logical overall for the United States to do this. I had a feeling it would happen eventually due to two main factors:

  • Climate change. They may deny it, but it’s a tactic to prevent the public from realizing this: the USA, along with many other countries, will not be able to run efficiently or even at all very soon because of the impacts from climate change. It is too costly to manage and management will not prevent the worst of it anyways. They will not have enough resources to sustain their population. Canada is incredibly resource dense and perhaps one of the better countries to live during the climate changes predicted. Although, on this note, New Zealand is probably poised better. I wonder if they aren’t targeting it because they have all their bunkers there already anyways, or if it’s on their list for the future. There’s also all of the new resources and trade route through the Arctic. I could go on but this point deserves a post of its own to lay out the full details.
  • A last “hurrah”, because they know the climate is changing at a rapid pace and there won’t be other chances to live out their dictator dreams. They want to be kings of the world, and this is likely humanity’s last chance to hold such a title. This is why they aren’t playing around with trying to make fair trade deals instead of just taking over. It’s not as fun. And trade deals are likely not as secure for them too, since, as we have seen, trade deals ultimately don’t mean shit.

When viewed through this lens, their potential plans don’t really sound so crazy.

[–] Dearche@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I agree with the lack of logic, as Trump yesterday announced wartime powers, using the pretense of being at war with gangs to justify the order.

That said, I don't see any invasion being based upon any real need, even from an economic level. In fact, such an act will be extremely counterproductive and will harm not only their general economy, but the bottom line of many of their top businesses. Not to mention that any project to extract Canadian resources that aren't already abundant in the US will take at least a half decade to even start producing, with profits only emerging two decades after any annexation at best.

And that presumes that any extraction is done quickly and smoothly. Frankly speaking, the issue is that to extract most things at scale, everything needs to be built up from the ground level, including roads.

That doesn't even start with the liklihood of constant protests and vandalism, including some crazies that try to shoot out tires and critical equipment.

[–] rozcakj@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 hours ago

including some crazies that try to shoot out tires and critical equipment.

You mean Canadian patriot insurgents.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Above all...what's the point? No one in their right mind wants to live there except for Canadians! Its fucking cold! Its amazing anything happens there at all. Regardless, it's their country and Trump is one full blown grade A dumbass. I like Canadians!

[–] littlebrother@lemm.ee 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think you realize... the American deep south and southwest are rapidly becoming uninhabitable.

Canada is primed to be a destination once torontos climate becomes more like missouris.

I wish I was kidding.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

Has Been doing that for hundreds of years. But that's a problem for prehistoric people. Modern tech can fix all that....Lemmy see...the boring compan...ah shit. Nevermind!

[–] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If the climate keeps getting warmer then huge parts of Canada will become temperate and farm-able, while places that are currently temperate will become too hot to live in or farm.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

Possibly yeah. One day.

[–] Slam_Eye@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Im west coast. We had 2 days of snow this year about 4 inch deep. Ive lived east coast and its the same as maryland weather. Its no more cold than what you guys get.

[–] bathroomconnoisseur@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

To be fair, I live in the middle and it hit -40°C this winter

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[–] Darkcoffee@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 day ago (3 children)

No Canada didn't go for wokeness, get your head out of your ass.

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago

As if being "woke" is a bad thing anyway.

Better than sleepwalking into fascism.

[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 54 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

At this point even the pro-Canada American takes are pissing me off honestly

Edit:

Canada is a much more left-wing country than the United States, and absorbing it could well revive the political fortunes of progressives

I’m also getting really fucking sick of this talking point. We’re not going to vote in American elections because we’re not going to be American and I don’t even want to hear any thought exercises on the subject

[–] match@pawb.social 10 points 1 day ago

as an American this is a stupid point because our democracy is over

[–] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 day ago

As if they would give us senators and equal voting rights. The US is now a hostile rogue nation on par with the DPRK and Venezuela as far as I'm concerned.

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Free Healthcare is woke to an American.

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Anything that benefits anyone who isn't rich and white is woke.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Everything I disagree with is woke DEI communist terrorism!

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The last time Americans fucked with Canada... the Whitehouse and DC were burned to the ground.

[–] mrslt@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing a reenactment.

[–] Slam_Eye@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That was the british army. Its not correct to say canada did that.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

We (Americans) also basically failed at nearly every single engagement that was an attempted incursion into British/Canadian territory or attack on a British fort/settlement west of the US proper, they were pretty much all either repulsed, or only initially successful for a short amount of time and then driven out.

I could be wrong, but I am willing to bet that many of those soldiers opposing the Americans involved in initial American incursions into Canada were British soldiers who lived in Canada, and/or were Native/First Nations allies of the British, and are thus proto-Canadians, unlike the Royal Navy and Marines who showed up in force within about a year, and were then withdrawn after the US basically sued for peace.

I agree that it's an oversimplification to view the entire war as just US vs a nascent Canada, but I also think it's an oversimplification to view the entire war as the US vs the UK.

Also I didn't state that Canadians burned down DC. I said that the last time the US fucked with Canada, the result was our capitol being burned down.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sure, but The Geneva Convention is quite literally a list of things that The Canadians did in WWI that we collectively agreed was going a bit too far for war.

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

That's what I was insinuating.

Also this was a perfect opportunity for the Goofy "And I'll fucking do it again," meme

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[–] Montreal_Metro@lemmy.ca 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Canada has always been “woke”. What? You want to sleepwalk into a dictatorship?

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[–] systemglitch@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Fuck America.

[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

All aboard the war crimes express. Choo choo!

[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Remember kids, it's not a war crime the first time. Gonna have to go back to being creative.

[–] prodigalsorcerer@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago

It's also not a war crime if you're not enlisted.

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