Ask Lemmy

I tend to stay places where I like my coworkers too long, even though it’s pretty bad for my career. Sometimes you have to balance out the angst at slumming it at a lower pay/position than you should be versus not wanting to murder everybody around you (And also more explicitly senior roles put you in day-to-day contact with more dickheads by their nature.)

Having a good team is such a blessing and by the same token a bad team can be incredibly toxic. The territorial pissing sounds like they need more feminine influences in this workspace.

I work with a guy that I find infuriating ….views on women’s behaviour and dress sense, unionisation, left out of projects that we don’t need to get involved in. I know what you mean, but I wouldn’t quit cause of him, point is, you have my sympathy.

No one quits a job. Everyone quits a boss.

This saying has held true for me for decades.

I manage projects and cancel as many meetings as I can. 1hr meetings get shortened and I prevent workers from getting added to management calls where possible.

People that want to be in meetings aren’t working.

I'm a Product Owner, and my job literally is to participate in meetings, so that my engineers don't have to. You want to talk to one of them? Sorry, you have to talk to me, and I'll talk to them on their own time.

In the past, however, there was one time I almost quit. We had an engineering lead with a serious case of Dunning-Kruger syndrome. Good with Javascript, which made him think he was an expert in everything, from c# to aws, and especially in system architecture. He could sell himself and his work really well, though, so the management always took his word for gospel. Got two developers, who had the audacity to tell him how stupid his architecture was, fired. Tried to get me fired, and it turned into a competition of who can outlast whom. Eventually it became too much for me, so I started interviewing elsewhere, when suddenly he was reassigned elsewhere within the company. I decided to stay mainly due to career growth (and to pay my mortgage), and I hear that he's been doing his usual mess in his new position, while my team is now far happier and more productive.

I worked for German startup tech bros who decided to become freight logistics influencers. Fuck, those absolute cretins were the worst humans I've met maybe ever. I ended up on 100mg anti anxiety meds and I still hated it enough to end up quitting one random Thursday.

Some people are just destined to be soul suckers, and it's like a virus - those who don't jump ship end up catching the disease.

If you quit, can you recommend me to replace you? I'll take any remote job, and I can put up with annoying coworkers.

I'm actually half serious. 7 YoE in web dev, mostly backend.

Plenty. I live in a fairly conservative part of California so many places I've worked at, I have to listen to bigotry in all forms all fucking day long from all the other guys around me.

Maybe it's a regional thing? My coworkers are mostly in New York and my other jobs have all been in the South.

Could also just be the company's culture itself.

Sounds like a lot of middle managers who don't actually do any work and are paranoid about being found out.

Live your best life. We all have bills to pay but If it isn’t the right fit, send out resumes. You owe corporations nothing. And you probably won’t get promoted if you hate your coworkers. You’re better off trying to find a better fit than trying to thrive somewhere that doesn’t match.

That advice goes to wildlife too. I’m guessing they won’t read this but if you’re a raccoon eating out of restaurant dumpsters, find the best dumpster. They got plenty nowadays.

I tried very hard to work and fit in at a job where the majority of the people did not share my own values, and were extremely vocal and abusive about it. Being singled out and literally screamed at in front of everyone for something that I had nothing to do with was the last straw. It was probably the worst job I have ever had. My mental health really suffered from that place.

My last job at a grocery/warehouse for restaurants.

Just about the bottom of the barrel scratching incompetent, stupid, unobservent, and lack of. Costumers too! You think owning your own business you would know? Oh, hahaha... no.

I heard one guy saying he's going out of business because of us, I told him "no, because you're to stupid to read a box or sign on what cups they are, ripping all th3 boxes and THEN come back because you get the wrong one."

I can't do costumer service unless it pays. I'm not smart, but HOLY SHIT. How am I struggling this hard and these morons live in a house or have a nice car. Like damn

That’s usually why I quit jobs.

I've got the closest thing to a software engineering job I've ever had and it's similarly miserable. I have a coworker who I really like and mostly the rest are like you describe.

I can't wait to get out of this role and back to having a more normal job. Nowhere near you, but I've worked a bunch of places in the US and none have been like this

If one product manager gets added to a call, I hear about it from the other PMs. A good day for me is when I have 8 straight hours of coding to do and I don’t speak to a single soul at work.

Unless you're coding for yourself, you're not going to escape PMs in any other org you would go to. Your situation is where soft skills come into play. Identify a PM you like, and route all your communication through them. If others want updates, point them to your chosen PM. If others want invites to meetings tell them "no problem, reach out to [favorite PM] to get added". If Favorite PM doesn't invite them to the meeting then its an argument between Favorite and the other person and you're out of the loop.

The best engineers aren't just good at their technology, but also communicating with others effectively.

Personally, no, though I recently quit a job due to burnout. I've had a lot of luck in enjoying or at least being able to easily tolerate the company of 98% of my coworkers. There's definitely people I've worked with who are eager to climb the ladder, but at least manage to put on a good front/put it aside to some degree for the good of the company

This isn't helping to motivate me in applying my BSE degree I earned years ago lol. I've been pretty content with my current WFH job, even if it's unrelated to software development. It sure does seem like there are many inflated egos in the industry and I'm not sure if I have the patience to navigate them. That's not to say I'm better than they are, but goddamn the pissing contests in any arena get tiresome.

Shit yeah, or the manager(s).

Yes but it wasn’t my only job. I was fine at work, boss was nice, one nice coworker, one annoying one. Then he asked us to go to a convention. Well they were both horrible to me those couple days so I just stopped talking to my coworkers. The day I left I just walked out and didn’t say anything.

Boss ended up being rude too. I had asked for a raise after working there for many years as one of the earliest employees and the most underpaid and he ignored me twice.

I'm going through that right now. But it's my first job/internship and I need the experience.

Some of my workmates are cool but the other ones just spout conservative rhetoric occasionally. But I'm learning to deal with it