this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 118 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Its shitposting all over the carpet. And you think thats cute?"

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

now it's reposting it all over the place. honey, i think we should call the vet.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 80 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I would totally be happy being a robot's pet. I bet they'd give me a great gaming PC if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 78 points 2 months ago

Nah, my luck I end up adopted by some redneck robot, like the ones that build trucks or something, and I have to live chained to a tree, sleeping in an old tractor tire.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

There's always some over the top requirements!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well there are other ways to mark my territory, to be fair.

[–] pticrix@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 months ago

We didn't invent Cheetos stains for nothing. It's a strong marker.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or more fun ways. Like cumming on the sofa.

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 months ago

Found JD Vance’s Lemmy account!

[–] ThunderLegend@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes I get sad I have no one with this kind of humor and the language skills to share memes like this with.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

You can send them to me. I love this kinda stuff.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You gotta get that human a second human, they're so much easier to take care of when there's two of them! Make sure they're neutered though, don't want to take care of a litter!

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Also, don't mind the constant humping

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Only if both humans consent! Otherwise you might need to separate them or keep a spray bottle handy to stop the behavior!

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

How would you know? It’s not like their thinking units have inter-robot wireless link modules. They just make cute sounds with their ingest cloacae. We really need to stop robotomorphising the humans, acting like they’re capable of such abstract concepts, and imposing our advanced moral systems on them. They have non-consensual interactions all the time, it’s in their nature.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] austinfloyd@ttrpg.network 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm hoping this is partly a Porno for Pyros reference.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 months ago
[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

My bots always try to get me to buy micro transactions and toxic radioactive herbal medicine from China.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 months ago

I have started actively refusing games with microtransactions and it's great

[–] Droechai@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

But that black salve seems so efficient in removing blemishes (by dissolving the top skin layers)

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 12 points 2 months ago

A human on a leash walks past another human on a leash. They lock eyes on their t-shirts.

"Team Jacob sucks!"
"No, Team Edward sucks harder!"
"Jacob sucks the most!"
"Edward was sucking before Jacob was even born!"
"Jacob sucks more in a single year than Edward sucks in several extended lifetimes!"
"Edward sucks full time though, whereas Jacob only sucks part-time!"
... etc

[–] match@pawb.social 9 points 2 months ago

I'm gonna get an upvote cat toy and wave it at the puppygirls

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] AngrySquirrel@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

Where do I sign up?

[–] RedStrider@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

moby from brainpop if he didn't have paint