this post was submitted on 11 May 2025
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So, I've been chatting with my buddies lately, and it's turned into a bunch of debates about right and wrong. I think I have a pretty solid moral compass, I'm not bragging haha, but most people I know can't really explain why something's right or wrong without getting all circular or contradicting themselves.

So, how do you figure out what to do? No judgment, just curious. I'll share my thoughts below.

Thanks!

Edit: Oh, all you lil' philosophers have brought me a cornicopia of thoughts and ideas. I'm going to take my time responding, I'm like Treebeard, never wanna be hasty.

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[–] WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Pee when you have the chance.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When going out into the cold during the winter, especially if you are going on a bit of multi hour journey .... poop first, even if you don't feel like it.

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[–] tty5@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)
  • don't be an asshole
  • everything is allowed as long as nobody is getting hurt
  • act when you see something wrong
  • when you are able to help do so
  • in all other cases mind your own business
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[–] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Leave a better world behind than you entered (to the extent you are able to as an individual).

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

The cub scouts have a rule: leave the camp better than you found it

It's a great rule to apply to everything in your life. Small improvements add up over time and benefit those who come after

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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pushing 4 decades, and the older I get the more I try to live by a philosophy of: be the person you wish you had when you were in their shoes.

Biggest thing is school right now: I did the college thing a bit a long time ago, struggled academically and financially, joined the military instead, separated, and now I'm back for round 2 using the GI Bill. I try to generate as many resources for my classmates as possible, run study groups, host group chats, send out reminders... The VA gives me a stipend for supplies each semester, which I'll use in it's entirety and give those supplies to the class. At clinicals (on-the-job education - nursing school) I've noticed a few students don't eat cuz weren't able to pack a lunch and hospital cafeteria food is WAY expensive for the average broke-ass college student, so I'll cover the odd meal and tell em to just pay it forward once they get their RN. Shit like that. Kinda feels like I have 50 sons and daughters lol. But I remember my first attempt at college and how overwhelming everything felt... idk if having a 'me' would have made any difference in the outcome of round 1 - can't make the horse drink and all - but if I can hook these kids up with an easier ride, then fuck yeah I'll do what I can!

I try to apply that kind of approach to pretty much any context - be it school, work, or just random encounters with people.

Feels good to be helpful.

[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

This is the best advice I've heard in a long while

[–] Tibi@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago

This fits very nicely in my belief system as well. For me the reason to life is to make it simpler/easier for the people who come after me. And thinking about what I needed and supplying that to others is a very nice way to achieve this. Although this could sometimes lead to doing something that is not needed (anymore), but even then showing others that helping others is a nice thing to do is worth a lot.

[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (3 children)

A good starting place is considering what society would look like if everyone did whatever thing.

Everyone steals - doesn't work

Everyone murders - dosen't work

etc.

Another approach is the Terry Pratchett argument that everything boils down to just not treating people like things.

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

From an old Irish friend I've known for many years

Whatever you do in life, no matter the situation or circumstances ..... always be kind

[–] RaptorBenn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Great philosophy, gotta make sure people dont take advantage of that though.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago

It also acts as a filter in life .... whenever you meet unkind people, you stay away from them

Whenever you meet people who would take advantage of your kindness ... you kindly stay away from them

When you meet other kind people, you do your best to stay with them, live with them, work with them or encourage them

Everyone always remember a few key things in life ... people remember others who were unkind to them ... people also remember people who were kind to them.

Life is short and it gets shorter every moment ... whatever you do in life ... just be kind ... because most of the people you will ever meet you will only ever know for that one moment or just for a very short time.

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[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Never drink alcohol alone.

That doesn’t save me from bad environment, but it prevents a Huge otherwise potential risk

[–] Tibi@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago

I recently have added a don't eat/drink sugar alone for me 😊

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

My ethos boils down to…

  1. The Golden Rule: Your rights end where other’s rights begin, and vice versa. 
  2. Natural Rights: Any action or inaction, thought, or word, spoken or written, that does not cross the line of the Golden Rule is a natural right.
  3. Ethics: All ethics are founded upon, and entirely dependent upon, points 1 & 2.
  4. Morality Is Unethical: Morality, allowing for arbitrary precepts, is inherently unethical. 
  5. Effort: Strive to live ethically.
  6. Inaction is Action: Inaction is, itself, an action. If your inaction results (even indirectly) in someone’s natural rights being infringed, your inaction is unethical.
  7. Consideration: Actions often have cascading, indirect consequences, and you bear full responsibility for them. Therefore, failure to consider the indirect consequences of your (in)actions is also unethical.
  8. Graciousness: Treat others the way they wish to be treated. Recognize the dividends that gracious behavior has on preserving the natural rights of both yourself and others.
  9. Defend the Social Contract: Ethical behavior is a contract between individuals. Aggressors and instigators who violate that contract are not subject to its protections. As such, adherents are obliged to defend both themselves and others from such infringements to preserve the greater social stability.
  10. Imperfection: Acknowledge that no body, no thing, and no system is perfect. Not you, not others, not nature, not these precepts. Mistakes are inevitable, it is the effort and intention that matters. Accept and treasure imperfection, and be faithful to the spirit rather than the letter.
[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago
[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

This is one of the biggest problems going on right now. That people don't have a knowledge of their own morality, not in any tangible, processed way. People resort to following a person who they believe has the morality they seek, but their own decisions are actually based on a combo of feelings and whatever dogma they may have with no real analysis or improvement being done with any consistency. It would fix a hell of a lot of problems if your average person was breaking down the implications of their own morality and developing a defensible philosophical position. For most I observe that is farther than the average person is willing to parse. It seems that this has led many to base essentially their entire philosophy of right vs wrong (as far as they can actually explain it without just saying "God") on a series of impactful sounding, but ultimately hollow, sound bites or snappy retorts that don't have any actual substance.

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Logic is the wrong tool for ethics. In formal logic, you can only assign values like true or false to something called "descriptive statements". These are statements of fact, that can be observed.

Morality deals with "prescriptive" statements. Unobservable and unstable statements about how the world ought to be.

Logic breaks down because it's impossible to argue for something that should be using only facts about how thing are.

The prescriptive statement "it's wrong to harm" relies on the prescriptive statement "harm is bad". Their is no bottom to it.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago

I try to live my life happily while causing the least negative impact for others.

[–] Jack_Burton@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To paraphrase Dr. Who, this has always stuck with me: Never be cruel, never be cowardly. Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise. Always try to be nice, and never fail to be kind.

[–] RaptorBenn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Reminds me of the Stephen Moffat poem, they used it heavily in Dr who at one point.

"Demons run when a good man goes to war,

Night will fall and drown the sun,

When a good man goes to war.

Friendship dies and true love lies,

Night will fall and the dark will rise,

When a good man goes to war.

Demons run, but count the cost;

The battle's won, but the child is lost."

[–] modernangel@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Most other animals develop rapidly from birth to self sufficiency, while humans are born so very unfinished - totally dependent on others for our most basic needs, for years and years. If any values can be said to resonate with "human nature", it's prosocial and community-building values.

Just about every major religion glorifies some version of The Golden Rule - do unto others as ye would be done by.

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[–] Opinionhaver@feddit.uk 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honesty, fairness, integrity.

I don’t lie - ever. Not even white lies. I might not always say what I think, but I never say something I know to be untrue.

I treat others the way I’d want to be treated myself. Even when it comes to decisions where no one else is directly involved, I ask myself: Would the world be better or worse if everyone acted like this? If the answer is worse, I don’t do it.

Don't be a hypocrite. I won’t criticize others for something I’m guilty of myself - which is probably why you rarely hear me criticizing anyone at all.

Also, I don't believe in free will - as in the ability to have done otherwise. That's the other reason I don't blame people for their actions. This is something that just overall plays a huge factor in how I approach life. There are many things I see completely differently than most other people - including myself.

A related quote: “It’s not a principle if it’s not costing you anything.”

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

don’t lie - ever

That can be dangerous advice in some contexts. Like if you're an immigrant being confronted by an ICE agent, say whatever you need to say to get the fuck out of there.

Basically if a Nazi asks if you're a Jew, the answer is ALWAYS 'no' regardless of whether or not that's true.

I won’t criticize others for something I’m guilty of myself

Often it takes seeing other people engaging in a habit that you share to realize or accept it's a bad one: criticism can still be warranted and constructive, but in that case I'd own the complicity openly and direct the criticism to 'we'. Introspection is good!

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[–] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Try to make life better for yourself and for everyone else. Try to have compassion for everyone. You don't have to agree with them or support what they do, but treat them as having worth.

[–] PentastarM@midwest.social 6 points 1 week ago
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 6 points 1 week ago

Don't be a dick.

[–] RaptorBenn@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I start with my ideal, which is "I want the most amount of people to be as content as possible for as long as possible."

Then I build a heirarchy of groups in relation to the ideal, and it comes out in stepped groups, starting with me, immediate family, social group (further family, friends, colleagues), local community, government, humanity. This set allows me to target my focus, if Im content and safe, I can focus on helping my family be the same, and each level builds up to and allows for the next.

Now I can identify where to focus i need rules on how to act, i know what my goals is, but i need to make sure my actions arent counter to goal in some way, a set of rules like commandments (that can only be divined through experience) mitigate the possibility. Christianity does a good job of picking out the things that are counter to my ideal as it is, so mine are basically modelled after that.

  1. No killing
  2. No stealing
  3. Dont lie
  4. Dont covet
  5. No adultery (though I'd say this covers breaking any agreement/commitment made)
  6. There's probably a couple more I've missed but I'm short on time

And for it to be fair for me to expect anyone else to follow the rules, i must first, this is the connection between rights and responsibilities If I want to claim a right, it is my responsibility to ensure others receives that right.

So basically I know if I follow that schedule, I really cant consciously do any wrong and can sleep right knowing I mad the best decision.

Let mek now if Im being incoherent anywhere, happy to discuss whatever.

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[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Learn the difference between a necessary risk and an unnecessary one, and whenever possible, decide with intent when to deploy the latter.

Other than that, leave things better than you found them. That goes a long way.

[–] dumblederp@aussie.zone 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Stoic and Buddhist philosophy. No religious metaphysical stuff like gods, spirits or reincarnation.

On a basic level be kind and accept impermanence.

[–] crt0o@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

There is no such thing as objective morality. Being moral is a matter of will and character—consciously choosing what kind of person you want to be. I want to be the kind of person that brings pleasure into the world, and so I am a utilitarian.

Edit: And I'm not saying that I am fulfilling that adequately at all. Any coherent moral stance usually has implications which are "undesirable". If I were truly utilitarian, I should probably be donating money to the global south, and so should anyone else who claims to be moral.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

If you want to judge the character of a person:

Observe how they treat those they have power over, usually in terms of social hirarchy or economic position.

Edit: Read the question wrong. Be nice to the service workers you rely on to get things done, like janitors, servers, cleaners, basically the bottom ranks of the totem pole.

If you have to ask why and need a selfish reason:

These people often are in positions where they can sabotage you, make your life difficult or slow you down. You really dont want to scream at the people who handle your importent paperwork, which can easily "get lost in the administration"...

[–] shawn1122@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I would take it a step further with indigineous teachings that those with great power use it for the greater good, do not dismiss the central role of women in communities and respects the sanctity of all that is living, human and non-human.

To me, that is a good person and I believe that every person has the potential to be good.

[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's right if it brings happiness to yourself and the world, it's wrong if it brings pain to yourself and the world.

It is also right to follow rules if you don't have a clear understanding of the situation, because (hopefully) those rules were made with an expertise that you don't posses.

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Drink enough coffee to shit before leaving the house.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Always shit on company time

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[–] theblips@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

For the last year or so I've just been trying not to kill myself

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Any morale principle must to be able to be universally applied to be valid. This translate in not asking for others what I won't do myself. And judging hardly those who ask for rules that don't apply to themselves.

That simple principle can construct a lot if you develop it.

[–] coherent_domain@infosec.pub 4 points 1 week ago

My standard for "good" practise is: if everyone adapt said practice, then the world would be better off.

Even though the effort of a single person can be futile; if I cannot chance my behavior for a cause I believe in, how can I expect the rest of the world to do the same?

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Everyone here is saying "don't be a dick". That is not sufficient. That just makes you middling, not good. To be good, you must also stop people who ARE being dicks.

[–] MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pay your taxes, use your blinker, and don't preach at people. As long as you follow those guidelines have a fucking field day with your life.

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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