A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
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Hi there and welcome back to another episode of Bitch Slap Kitchen, where we cook food like it owes us money. Today we're making some delicious backhand chicken.
Suspend a whole chicken in midair form some string or something, haul back, and swing at about mach 5, a little less. You're probably not going to have any intact glass anywhere in your house and you'll probably set off some car alarms in the shopping district but you'll have a table ready main course in milliseconds.
His number are off due to the idea that chicken is cooked at 400F. Yikes!
OMG, I asked copilot to read the text and fix it to 168 degrees F.
I expected it to give me text and for it to be horrible,
what It did was so much worse and so must more impressive.
So has anyone who's actually cooked a chicken before done the math? Because my guy just slapped this poor bird into pure carbon. Did he mean to do 205°F? It's still too high, but it would at least be edible.
In general, chicken needs to be heated to 74C or 165F for a few seconds to kill off dangerous pathogens.
Here is a list of other times and temperatures for chicken to be considered safe
Yeah yeah we get it, Newton will fry your hand and pls don't cook a chicken to 205°C core temp.
BUT! What kinda physics major forgets Newton AND the fact that you won't convert kinetic energy into heat with 100% efficiency?
I know, three math majors in a trench coat, that's who'll forget it.
This guy engineers! Real world applications experience vs math
Gotta love how everyone forgot about Newton in all this. Enjoy your instantly well-cooked hand, which is also made of meat.
My man, if you slapped something at 32,000 miles per hour, you don't have a hand to cook anymore :P
That's something like mach 4.8 at sea level?
Double the food. Sweet!
As your friendly neighborhood person with knowledge about food and cooking, 2 pounds is an absurd weight for an uncooked rotisserie chicken, that is a very small and cooked weight, 4-6 pounds is going to be typical. Also, more importantly, you cannot cook something faster by increasing the temperature past a pretty quick point, meat is an excellent insulator. No slap can cook the inside of a frozen chicken unless the entire chicken disintegrates.
Tbf though, a slap at 3700 mph would absolutely disintegrate the chicken.
Also, if you cooked it to 400 degrees it would be disgusting. You just need to cook it to 165. This guy might know about physics but he has never cooked anything before.
I've read that bone-in chicken should actually get to 190°F as this is when the collagen renders, but Idk it was on the Internet so...
You can cook chicken legs to a higher temp like 180-185°F, but if you do that with white meat it will be dry af.
That's right, it was when I was looking up the best way to cook a chicken quarter, or rather 60 of them.
This is basically the foundation of barbecue. Off you have a cut of meat that’s tough and high in connective tissue, if you cook it at a low temperature for a long time, once it gets around 190 the collagens start to break down and the meat gets tender. Things like chuck roasts, brisket, pork shoulder.
This has nothing to do with chicken though. A chicken breast, bone in or not, will be disgustingly dry at 190 degrees.
A guy on YT actually tried it experimentally a few years ago (how many slaps, not how fast one slap); and it works to some degree! The main problem becomes to make a slapping machine that can survive long enough:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHFhnnTWMgI&pp=ygURc2xhcCBjb29rIGNoaWNrZW7SBwkJzgkBhyohjO8%3D
YouTube is truly a wonder of stupidity. Sometimes in good ways
This slap question was a big meme several years ago, and when that video came out (years after the meme), it was an instant hit.
The fact that this discussion is still going shows how popular it is
He also did a turkey a couple years after that for "slapsgiving"
Introducing the pneumatic oven range. Place the chicken in the can and press the button... No mess cooking and bone meal blending! High calcium foods!
Typical physicist, ignoring enthalpy of phase changes. Starting from 1C defrosted makes a huge difference from 0C as the melting takes up a ton more energy/slaps. Their underslapped chicken would give you salmonella
They haven't considered rate of slap. Significant heat transfer to environment even at 10 slaps per second.
They're also assuming sea level standard atmospheric conditions. You may need to reduce rate of slap at altitude.
Also only about half the heat goes into the chicken and the other half into the hand used for slapping
Also completely neglecting that not all the energy in a slap will be transferred to thermal energy in the chicken.
Assume a spherical chicken...
Lord have mercy on folks cooking their chicken to 400 F. Those birds will come out as dry as the sands of the Sahara.
Bro really wanted his chicken well done at 400°F
Naw, that’s burnt.
Maillard reaction where things brown starts at 350f.
More than 165/175 in the center and that’s dried out.
The mallard reaction is only relevant when cooking duck.
But how do you get the chicken back from the stratosphere once you've slapped it that fast?
The chicken has to exceed the boiling point of water for it to be cooked? Unless we’re making chicken caramels, I don’t think so.
Doing some math, I think it works out to 6,242 slaps or a single slap at 1,939 mph. Much more attainable.
Fucking nerds in the comments^l^ ^love^ ^it^
Where's the link to the YouTube video where someone tried this? I remember listening to it last time someone posted this.
