“This is the lockpicking lawyer and what I have for you today is”
this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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The really offensive part is having >2 liters of milk, per person, in a work fridge. What the fuck do you need so much for? I bet that fridge smells like a mix of spoiled milk and utter distrust for other human beings.
udder distrust. it was right there
Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to milk the pun for all it’s worth.
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It is British milk. Even as a Brit myself it astonishes me how much tea some people drink in a day. That shit must literally ooze from the pores of some people.
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Just leave a decoy bottle laced with large amounts of sleep medication and laxatives. Sit back. Watch the shitshow unfold.
Question: I bring milk into the office laced with powerful psychedelics. It is clearly labeled with my name, saying “This is mine and for my consumption only. Do not drink”. Someone takes and drinks it.
Is this illegal?
In the USA, yes.
Are psychedelics legal where you live?
Depends on how the law if formulated.
For instance technically having psychedelics wouldn't be illegal in Finland. VERY technically. Insofar that all drug crimes are defined as something being used, or being meant to be used, as an intoxicant.
So like legally there'd theoretically be wiggle-room, since one might just have milk with psychedelics in it, without ever having any intention of consuming it, or offering any to anyone else. But it's not your problem if someone goes and eats stuff not intended for consumption.
Obviously it would never fly, but like... technically.
Ok what about prescription medicine crushed up and put in the milk instead. Someone else drinks it by and they die because of an adverse reaction to the meds.
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This reminds me for some reason about the time I found a half-full can of vintage rat poison at an antique store. It was basically entirely arsenic.
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New interview question: "please show me the inside of the common refrigerator."
Ass crack bandit!
Troy Barnes: So please, approve the Dean's new security measure called "Troy's law.", because a camera in the bathroom...
[He chokes up]
Troy Barnes: is better than a quarter in your butt.
Dean Pelton: As we've seen, the Ass Crack Bandit can be defeated by using the three "B"s: Belts, briefs, and buddies. Good. The bandit always gets his victims when they're alone. Bend over with friends over.
I remember solving something similar using an opaque bottle with "GI supplements, don't drink" written in sharpie. Especially since the first time it was actually true and they didn't believe the warning.
I used to live in a shared house and made some hot honey. Bunch of chillis chopped and simmered in honey.
I found a tiny amount on a pizza was good to add a hint of sweet and made it pretty spicy. Can't imagine having it concentrated on toast goes down too well but that is what someone did when they stole it.
Don't give me ideas... I love spicy stuff, and it has been a pretty good deterrent in of itself from having my foodstuffs stolen. So two birds with one stone...
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Why does one of the jugs have an infection warning on it? Are these bio samples at a lab and the locks are a safety measure?
I worked at a hospital, and sometimes the Emergency Dept nurses would be cheeky and use the biohazard bags and stickers for their food items. nobody is going to eat my cookies if they have to blindly trust someone being a joker lol
How about fixing the problem by having the management provide free milk? It's about a pound a day for them and everyone is happier.
Trent the milk guzzler arrives at 6 and drinks it all.
Fuck you Trent!
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I work at a place that went from having bbq's and get togethers to... well, nothing in about five years. Yesterday we got a company wide e-mail to tell us the CEO is GTFO'ing and being replaced by an external hire. I'm not worried at all though. In fact, I'm kinda hoping to be fired for the severance. Fuck this job :D
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