this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 16 minutes ago

immortal from Incincible comic

anon is Invisible

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago
[–] ExplosiveLynx@lemmy.world 134 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 day ago

That's also what I read from that.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Anon is a squirrel

Except for the driving part but it's all relative

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Pretty sure most squirrels are also terrible drivers.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 day ago

If you almost get into an accident, you have encountered a bad driver.

If you get into an accident almost every time, you are the bad driver.

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Survivorship bias gonna' bite him in the ass HARD.

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Every single person who ever lived could use this logic and they'd never see it disproven.

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I dunno', quite a few people are aware that they're dying before they die.

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 1 points 20 hours ago

Oh I do know about that, I've had a near death experience myself, your body/brain has an uncanny sense that says "you are dangling over the precipice right now."

I just mean that until it actually happens, there is no true confirmation, and after, you can't report back, that's why it's called a mystery.

In fact from the way that person is talking it sounds like they may have had such an experience, and maybe now they're doubting that it's real.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Unless it doesn't. I've met some cocky 90 year olds

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 1 day ago

fake: anon is just a shitty driver

gay: anon is bragging in hopes to score with other anons

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

Given enough time on the planet eventually he'll gain so much power that he will be able to spell.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Anon discovers quantum immortality, blows through alternate selves faster than Jet Li.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Immortal means you can’t die, or alternatively you can’t die of natural causes. It doesn’t mean you avoid accidents.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

But then there's quantum immortality which kinda is like that. Your consciousness picks a universe where you don't die for you to experience. Maybe it even picks an ideal reality, though in a "reality I need" kind of way, not necessarily a "reality I want".

Anon needs to post dashcam footage

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 9 points 1 day ago

Bought a crazy eScooter last year, literally backflipping me on zero start if I don't set the take off power to below 10%. Have at least one brush with severe injury every time I go for a joyride. Nearly died a couple of times, had a accident that put me on crutches for two weeks last autumn.

So, what's your hobby?