this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025
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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

you're supposed to drink the lemonade, dummy.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 9 hours ago

When God gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

That’s a Nemco 55850. If he can afford a $500 citrus juicer, his life is just fine.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 97 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. when life gives you too many lemons, make a lemonade factory. when the market is oversaturated with lemons and nobody wants your lemonade, pass laws forcing the poor's to buy your lemonade. when socialist America elects a libtard commie, bribe him. when the countrie is destitute and starving because they have nothing to eat, save money on lemonade by selling lemons.

[–] name_NULL111653@pawb.social 19 points 2 days ago

This is so obviously satire, who tf be downvoting?

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 days ago

We've got lemonade, strawbribery lemonade, grape lemonade, all-the-wrong-mango-to-jail lemonade, and pardon-me-how-could-this-insurraspberry-only-have-69-calories. Bring your "got out of jail free" card or wear any red hat for an extra 14% off your 88th purchase. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) NOW SERVING BLACKS

Fucking hell you guys.

[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Last year, in Sapporo, I went to a bar that serves unlimited lemon highball (i.e. hard liquor) out of a tap. The whole bar is lemon-themed. It was very cheap, like $10 for 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink lemon highball or something like that. Anyway, I'm not a heavy drinker by any means, but dear god, we got blasted. I don't think I can look at a lemon again without feeling mildly nauseous.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

we still remember it as "lemon night"

[–] modus@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Would you go as far as to say it was a party?

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)

“When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won’t have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the “o.” You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Timotheé Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t “cool” or “tight” or “awesome,” no, it’s “lemon.” “Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.” Billie Eilish, “OMG, hashtag… lemon.” You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins ‘cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits… and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate… you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for patent infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."

[–] Thavron@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I read this in the voice of Cave Johnson.

[–] EightBitBlood@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

What if the Lemons falling on us in this situation are all the billionaires doing exactly what you're saying - but exclusively with their made up bullshit lemons? Like illegal aliens, the "radical" left, and corporate taxes.

Because I'd love to turn that into lemonade, but the market is now so saturated in their fake outrage lemon bullshit to the point we no longer even agree on what lemonade is supposed to taste like.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What if life give you Climate Change?

[–] plyth@feddit.org 3 points 2 days ago

You build a construction business to repair destroyed infrastructure and you invest in corn storage for years of bad harvests.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 days ago

You're doing Glados' work. For science. You monster.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

So I just found out, that APPERENTLY, a LEMON, isn't naturally occurring, and is a hybrid by CROSSBREEDING a BITTER ORANGE with a CITRON! WHICH MEANS: LIFE NEVER GAVE US LEMONS! WE INVENTED THEM ALL BY OURSELVES!!

[–] Bogasse@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 days ago

That's somehow the 3rd "life gives you lemon" comics I see this week.

Obligatory link to David Revoy's awesome work : https://framapiaf.org/@davidrevoy/114943045552334866

1000072606

[–] renrenPDX@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Watch out for lemon stealing whores.

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[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Unless life gives you water and sugar too your lemonade is gonna really suck.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

When god gives you lemons, you find a new god.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] null@lemmy.nullspace.lol 4 points 2 days ago

I originally read the artist name as Will Sasso. I miss Vine.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 1 points 2 days ago
[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I had that many lemons I would throw the biggest lemon party ever

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He's been squeezing the lemons, drinking the juice, and filling the bottles with piss.

[–] yggstyle@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

He works at Amazon?!

[–] Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

Sell the lemons and call it “life is giving you lemons”

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

when life is a lemon, suck on it

[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My life arrived pre-sucked.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

when life sucks, eat a lemon. Eat it

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Imma try making some lemonade first.

Then i have something to drink, when i eat lemons.

[–] sol6_vi@lmmy.retrowaifu.io 2 points 2 days ago

How To Basic

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

At this point in history, we have enough lemons in the world that could generate critical mass and collapse into a black hole.

[–] plyth@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

He is making lemon juice. Seems like somebody else got lemons and has hired workers to squeeze the lemons for the lemonade. The process is very inefficient so the profit margins must be high.

This is a capitalist success story. It's always possible to find a way to suppress others if you have resources.

The moral is that not everybody gets lemons. Don't be sad, abuse them.

[–] ThePJN@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

One must imagine the Minute Maid happy.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

"Life is like a penis most people don't know it, but most people suck so they usually blow it." - Great Philosopher Jimmy Pop

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago
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