this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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Funny

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[–] Sergio@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The apple was poisoned with holy water.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago

It was just a big garlic clove painted red.

[–] cryptiod137@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago

I see this as an absolute win

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But then the magic mirror wouldn't be able to show her

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 month ago

it's magic tho

[–] muzzle@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Take a look at the Neil Gaiman short story "Snow, Glass, Apples"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] muzzle@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am able to separate the work from the artist.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

i prefer not giving money to rapists, but you do you

[–] muzzle@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just buy a used book, or pirate it. But I guess you're too busy performing indignation online.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

There's a way around that 🏴‍☠️⛵️

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sure, but then you remember that she was seven years old. Somehow an almost-toddler vampire doesn't strike me as very scary.

But Snow White grew up and became more and more beautiful, and when she was seven years old she was as beautiful as the bright day, and more beautiful than the Queen herself. When the Queen once asked her mirror: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?" it answered: "My Lady Queen, you are the fairest here, But Snow White is a thousand times more fair than you."

Here's the original in German, it also has an English translation but it's shit.

The story is really about how if you're a woman you shouldn't be wanting for more than what's given you, and that you must be meek and obedient.

Still, her reward was to get abducted and forced to marry a necrophiliac prince so I don't know... Maybe the story actually says to not be meek and obedient. It could be a cautionary tale I suppose.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 4 points 1 month ago

Claudia would like a word re: terror levels

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] javiwhite@feddit.uk 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

So you're saying that snow white is the first person to do a "just woke up like this" makeup selfie?

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 8 points 1 month ago

Having an evil magic god-mother has its perks.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

supposedly containing the best quality white lead sourced from Venice (...) A recipe from 1688 described the cosmetic as a mixture of water, vinegar, and lead

I love how yuropeeans were just applying lead powder to their faces

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago

The japanese used lead and mercury for their white makeup too: Oshiroi (白粉)

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Wait until you hear about Doramad

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 12 points 1 month ago

Or a tuberculosis victim, in either case.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

She entered the dwarves' house without an invitation though.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In my imaginary version of this vampire tale she sees a mat out front that says "Welcome" ... vampire loophole.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Generally I side with that loophole, though based on my knowledge of the dwarfs in question, I'd assume they would not have a mat out front that says "Welcome".

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Is the power that compels them to require an invitation still applicable if the vampire truly believed the house was abandoned? 🤔

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Idk, honestly I'd suggest consulting Tumblr. They're usually the authority on these things.

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Yes. If it's a place someone lives in, the vampire cannot enter. It's like an inherent "life force" that prevents them from entering, not the vampire's knowledge.

[–] MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 1 points 1 month ago

Similarly could a vampire enter your house without your permission if he were a cop of the warrant?

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago
[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you know that Humpty Dumpty wasn't even a dude?

Dumpty was a fucking egg, after the egg reassembled itself, it got arrested for attempted abortion.

The 3 Little Pigs was simple socioeconomics. Everyone afforded to build and have their own home. But some more than others had access to the better materials at the Home Depot. A whistleblower tried to expose all that. The Chapter 2 of that book would be that brick-lovin' mf starts charging them rent.

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Whats wrong with pale skin, dark hair and blood red lips? We cant all be tanned blonds, nor do we want to be!

Ja, herr obersturmführer, dieser kommentar hier

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually, this is a prime example of the white man's fantasy. Some pure, bleached white skinned goth virgin waiting to be corrupted. It's a fantasy, pure and simple. Just like all those girls in those magazines, they aren't "real" either.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Next you'll be telling people their AI waifus aren't real!

that "nightmare" sounds attractive

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Still would (I'm assuming she's canonically hundreds of years old and not like a Disney 14yo or something)

[–] MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 2 points 1 month ago

Shit, turns out the friend I had who claimed that the "goth girl awakening" I had started with snow white was correct all along.

Nah she was just a cokehead