this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 312 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I hate that we are in a timeline that I can't be absolutely sure that this is satire anymore.

[–] hakeahnig@lemmy.world 81 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It absolutely is. This was his next post

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

LMAO! Taking notes from Lyndon Johnson I see! (For those not in the know, the US President would call people into the Oval Office crapper and talk to them while taking a dump.)

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[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m reasonably sure it’s not?

[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 week ago

I had a manager that said these things. These people are ghouls.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A show of vision only a Super CEO can have

That almost brings it over the line, but no, I think it's serious. Only a heroic CEO could have the vision to give people time off. It's nothing like what unions have been clamoring to do for over a century.

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 150 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can no longer tell which ones are real and which are satire.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If that's linkedin he's 100% serious. Otherwise, 50-50.

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[–] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 109 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I had a boss like this once! Fucker pushed for overtime every night, argued against taking vacation, and would bitch people out for taking sick days, calling anyone who took time off lazy.

Turned out he fucking despised his wife, but didn't want to go through the "shame of divorce"(his words, after she kicked off the divorce).

Hope that dude stubs his toes every morning.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’ve definitely noticed a correlation of people “married to the job” because they don’t like the person they’re legally married to at home. It seemed to lead to a spike in divorces when the lockdowns hit during COVID.

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or they dislike someone else in the home. I definitely had people who loved their spouse, but hated actually having to take care of their kids, so they took tons of OT in order to minimize interacting with them at all.

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[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 70 points 1 week ago (12 children)

The places to watch out for are the ones who have “unlimited” vacation time. That actually means “ooh, now’s really not a good time…”

[–] Schal330@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think there was a company (might have been Virgin?) that did unlimited holiday, but the issue was that people ended up feeling ashamed for taking holiday and so basically ended up taking less than if they were given 25 days holiday.

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[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Even though I live what I do, getting paid is literally the only reason I go to work. If they did not pay me, I would not go.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I like my job. If I wasn't getting paid, I'd still be doing it. Just not for them.

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[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"I'm an insufferable rich cunt who doesn't do much at work, I have enough money to pay other people to do everything for me in the rest of my life, so I spend my free time persuing any hobby or interest I want, I'm also very empty inside so spend most of my time working."

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[–] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 week ago

"I offered my employees a salary, they then expected the full salary paid out. Miserable, ungrateful wretches."

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 1 week ago (9 children)
[–] Technofrood@feddit.uk 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not plus unfortunately as they can include the bank holidays in your statutory 28 days

Bank holidays

Bank or public holidays do not have to be given as paid leave.

An employer can choose to include bank holidays as part of a worker’s statutory annual leave.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 week ago

Ah yeah, I should have known that having worked hospitality most of my life lol

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[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sounds like a real stupid guy.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I mean, he already said he was a CEO…

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[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 42 points 1 week ago

We offered the CEO $550 million as a benefit. A gesture. A show of vision only a Super Board can have.

Instead, they treat it like a right. Like pay is something they're owed.

Some cash those checks. Some have it direct deposited. Different labels, same result, money leaves the company.

And that's when it hit me. If you really enjoy your job, why would you ever want to be paid for it?

Or am I the only one who sees it this way?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Even if you love doing something, you'll eventually want a break. What this guy is describing is addiction. Work addiction is one of many types of addiction that isn't even seen as such because while it can destroy everything else in your life, it likely won't stop you from being financially successful and that's the only measure of success anyone actually gives a fuck about, it seems.

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[–] ZeroGravitas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Your salary has been made available in your corporate account, but why would you want to use it all and deprive your employer of the extra security a cash reserve brings? Work well done should be its own reward after all. A shareholder cries every time you make a withdrawal.

[–] Infrapink@thebrainbin.org 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure this person is joking.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 1 week ago

we live in an age where almost all satire has happened at least 10 times

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[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago

If you really enjoy spaghetti & meatballs, why would you ever want to eat anything else?

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I have such a hard time imagining this is actually a real person writing a real post.

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love my job. I really do. I also love other things more. It’s not rocket surgery.

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[–] caboose2006@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

After being America pilled I moved to China and had a British roommate. My mind was blown when he told me his mom took paid vacation days to tidy the house. I would NEVER dream of using the 14 days of vacation I had in the USA to clean the fucking house. Just IMAGINE having so much time off that you'd even consider using some to clean the house. It seemed awesome to me.

[–] NotJohnSmith@feddit.uk 15 points 1 week ago

As a Brit that's crazy, that's what WFH is for ;)

[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (14 children)

USA needs some worker rights laws(apart from free healthcare, free education and others), in normal countries you'll be in trouble if you somehow didn't take your 28 days(more in some) of vacation, or were spotted at work in those days.

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[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (8 children)

What kind of psychopath enjoys working?

[–] Zwrt@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 week ago

For own personal growth or the general benefit of my local society absolutely.

Don’t even need a salary as long as the means to live happy are otherwise provided.

For the profit of a corporation? No, yuck!

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[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have an idea! Co-operatives, taxed automation, total freedom! Fuck work! Fuck all work! Most of us had enough of it for a lifetime. Even if you believe in working hard and earning your keep, the real issue is, you don't actually get to enjoy much of the results! You waste time you could have spent helping others, getting fit, developing your skillsets and hobbies! Living life! Experiencing things!

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've always thought the idea of a neighborhood working together would do wonders. "John down the street loves cars so if u need a fix go see him, oh and this weekend we're all helping roof his house cuz he helps us with cars and Hank across the street is gonna grill burgers for us" etc etc stuff like that.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You just invented villages

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[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is crazy. Next thing you're going to tell me the employees actually keep their full salaries for themselves and don't give you back most of it?

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[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

People with all the equity thinking that they don't need to share to get people to take ownership of work

~~what a fucking cunt~~ oh it is satire

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

I pay them every month but instead of keeping their salaries, they spend it all! Meaning I have to keep paying them! Absurd.

[–] AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

He's not wrong, IF companies were worker controlled by law. Like a cooperative. Workers would enjoy their work more and would want to work more if they had agency. We are supposed to be a democracy, so why don't get workers the right to vote on who their managers are, what to do with the profits (after paying back loans) and how many working hours there should be?

Imagine if you'd mandate that even shitshows like fox news were suddenly worker controlled instead of by incorporated demons of greed. Workers generally want to create a good product and make customers happy, and in the case of news agencies they'd want to inform their readers well.

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 18 points 1 week ago

If you really enjoy your job, why would you ever want time away from it?

Good point, maybe you should think about that a little harder bro.

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love my field, I hate the majority of jobs in my field because while tech can do many cool and wonderful things and could be solving many more issue, most companies are busy doing what one percenters want and pushing for the least effort solutions and everything is always a cram. No breathing space, no time to enjoy the product and reflect on what to do next. Just cram, enshittify, add tracking, automate away your peers, do more with less people so we can fire more people.

I'm so sick of the efficiency rat race that capitalist investors demand.

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you really like running why would you ever stop running?

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